


Never Would I Leave You

by C_apric_E



Series: Never a Dull Moment [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassination Attempt(s), Civil War, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fake Science, Five Year Mission, Hurt Spock (Star Trek), Hurt/Comfort, Intrigue, Jealousy, Kirk and Spock are Best Friends, Life on the Enterprise, Music as a Weapon, Non-consensual sex, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shore Leave, Starfleet, Tenderness, Vulcan Kisses, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, alien music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 32,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_apric_E/pseuds/C_apric_E
Summary: "Captain's log: We have been called on an emergency mission to Shadory V in the Shadory Nebula System. The planet is under siege from a civil war and there is a plague raging on its surface. They have asked us to help synthesise a vaccine and distribute it. We are not to interfere in the combat, as much as it galls me to stand by knowing that people are dying. Our mission is to get that vaccine to the people who need it."Spock and Juno return in a follow-up to A Symphony of Intrigue. It's a few months after the dramatic Gammarami assignment and this time the Enterprise is assisting with the development and distribution of a vaccine on an epidemic-stricken planet. Besides the civil war, which doesn't help matters, there's also the snag that certain music on this planet is used as a weapon and can kill by destroying the brain. In the case of a Vulcan, it doesn't kill - but what it does is much worse.WARNING: the story features non-consensual sex.
Relationships: Spock & Original Female Character(s), Spock (Star Trek)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Never a Dull Moment [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669063
Comments: 20
Kudos: 37





	1. Into the fray

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Like everyone else here, I'm just borrowing the characters I love so much. 
> 
> Another odd situation with dangerous and upsetting developments. Lots of angst, some intrigue, a goodly amount of sex, a bit of fluff here and there. A crew-member becomes lethally jealous. Spock gets heroically injured again (just once this time)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and McCoy are given the task of synthesizing a vaccine for the Shadory situation. Juno and Uhura have the job of determining the deadly note combinations and their effect, and developing protective measures, under Spock's supervision.

**Captain's log:**

We have been called on an emergency mission to planet Shadory V in the Shadory Nebula System. The planet is under siege from a civil war and there is a plague raging on its surface. The local medical facilities cannot cope with the numbers of patients and war victims needing care. They have asked us to help synthesise a vaccine and distribute it. Science Officer Spock and Chief Medical Officer McCoy will be heading this life-saving work.

The mission is complicated by the fact that on Shadory V, music is not just music. It is a weapon, used in war as one would use a phaser or grenade. Apparently certain combinations of notes from a specific indigenous instrument affect the brain in various ways, the most severe of which is death. This calls to mind our recent unfortunate Gammarami adventure, in which their music caused excruciating pain … for some of us … but it seems that the music of Shadory V has a much deadlier effect.

Fortunately we have our xeno-musicologist, Lieutenant Juno Morris, and our communications officer and resident musical expert Lieutenant Uhura, who will take on the job of determining the note combinations and their effect, under the supervision of Mr Spock. They will then develop measures we can take against the war music weapon. This is purely for protection. We are not to interfere in the combat, as much as it galls me to stand by knowing that people are dying. Our mission is to get that vaccine to the people who need it.

"Status, Mr Spock?"

Emerging from the turbolift, Captain James Kirk swung down to his command chair and settled himself in its slightly uncomfortable depths.

A reassuring presence at the science station, Spock looked up from his viewer and flicked a sequence of switches with practised ease. On a screen above his head, a map of the system appeared with the ship's course superimposed.

"At our present speed we will assume orbit at Shadory V in 18.34 hours, Captain."

"Can we push that up? The quicker we get there, the sooner we can help those people."

The Vulcan thought for a moment. "Yes, sir. If we increase to warp 7 we will arrive at Shadory V in 9.83 hours - with the co-operation of Mr Scott. That is, of course, just an estimate."

As usual, the first officer was precise to two decimal places with his estimates, which were usually more accurate than other people's final figures after many hours of computations.

"Of course." Kirk threw him an appreciative look. "Thank you, Spock."

"We have arranged to meet and consult with relevant representatives of Shadory medical and military sectors. They will confirm times and venues once we are stationed in orbit."

Kirk smiled gratefully at Spock, and turned to the helmsman. "Mr Sulu, continue on present course." He punched the intercom. "Kirk to Scott."

"Scott here," the chief engineer replied in his charming brogue.

"Scotty, we need to make much better time. Will the engines handle warp 7 for the next 10 hours?"

He heard a low whistle of incredulity. "Aye, sir, but I dinna recommend it."

"Thank you, Mr Scott, that's all I wanted to know. Just keep an eye on things down there."

"You dinna need to tell me, Captain."

Kirk turned to the navigation console. "Increase to warp 7, Mr Sulu."

"Aye, sir."

"Captain, we will hold a briefing in 2.5 hours with all relevant personnel," Spock said. "We must finalise our plan of action before we reach Shadory."

Kirk nodded. "That's fine, Spock. Please let everyone know."

The planet bore a passing resemblance to Jupiter, with the colourfully striped band around its middle, but instead of flamboyant storms to the north and south of the band it featured an unusual lavender coloured ocean. It hung in space, turning sedately, with no hint of the turmoil that was taking place on its surface.

"Shadory V is a tropical world. The planet's entire land mass is located in the equatorial region and stretches unbroken around the planet, in effect separating the northern and southern oceans. This single continent is known for its rainforests, beaches, and colourful wildlife. As to be expected for a tropically located continent, there is an abundance of life on both land and in the oceans."

Spock, heading up the briefing session, was describing the physical and geographical characteristics of the planet. Doctor McCoy would talk about the plague, while Uhura and Juno would brief the attendees on the war music.

"Looks like a bonny wee place," said Scott, and earned a withering glance from Spock.

"It is far from 'bonny', Mr Scott," the Vulcan said caustically. "Unfortunately, this single land mass means it is not difficult to attack and take over the world, and factions within the society have been doing this for hundreds of years. No sooner does one take over than another one tries to overthrow it. It is a very unstable society. The residents are mainly human," he added, as if this explained everything.

For Spock, it did indeed explain a lot.

"The tropical climate and abundant animal life," McCoy put in, "are also unfortunately favourable for the spread of disease. Insects and small biting animals are the main vectors. The outbreak that we are dealing with coincides with the arrival of the hot and humid season, which exacerbates the disease situation and the war."

"What is this disease, Doctor?" Kirk asked.

"It's called Vexotropic Fever, otherwise known as the Shadory Slam."

"Because ye feel like ye've been slammed by a Gorn?"

"You guessed it, Scotty," said McCoy. "It's viral, it seems, and presents with several stages of severity. In its least severe form it resembles an upper respiratory tract infection, or cold, and in its most serious it attacks the immune system and organs, causing systemic failure and probable death."

McCoy paused, looking at Spock. "Your Vulcan half is giving us something to think about, Spock. We're not sure how the Vulcan immune system would handle the disease. It may react more mildly or more severely, or it may present a completely different set of symptoms to the human reaction, or it may not react at all."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Spock stays on board," Kirk said. "I'm not putting him at risk. In any case, he will be working on the vaccine with you, Bones."

"I suggest that nobody goes down unprotected until we have a working vaccine, Jim," said McCoy.

Kirk nodded, then turned to Uhura and Juno.

"We haven't yet made much progress on the war music," said Uhura, "but we have established that there are only four sequences that are extremely dangerous. Once we have a generic sonic filter in place we'll be able to develop specific filters for those particular sequences and their exact cause and effect."

She looked to Juno for the next piece of information. The two women has become good friends since Uhura, who had been away from the ship during the Gammarami episode, had returned to find Spock - her friend, colleague and musical collaborator - in a relationship that nobody had been expecting, least of all the two involved. Like Kirk and McCoy, she had been thrilled for Spock and had wasted no time in getting friendly with Juno. Once she had been filled in on the arguments between Spock and Juno during the early part of their work - which had enthralled the crew for weeks and which had eventually led to the development of their romantic relationship - she had resolved not to get dragged into any altercations, should they arise.

"Because of the deadly nature of this weapon we can't rely on a one-filter-fits-all approach," Juno said. "We have to have a specific filter for each sequence."

"How will these filters be used practically?" Kirk asked.

"We will install them in headsets that will prevent the unfiltered sounds from reaching the ear. This won't affect normal sound because we'll build a receiver in as well so the wearer will be able to hear everything going on around them."

The captain nodded.

She put a cross section of a brain on the screen. "We think the music works on the brain as a blood clot does - it simply blocks the flow of blood and oxygen, but it does so by paralysing the tissue, and the brain dies."

"Charming," muttered McCoy. "If we're not listening to music that melts your brain, we're listening to music that kills it."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "There is nothing charming about the situation, Doctor."

Juno knew he knew it was just a figure of speech. But Spock enjoyed teasing McCoy much more than he would ever admit.

McCoy glowered. "Do you always have to be so damned literal, Spock?"

"How else would you want me to be, Doctor?" said Spock, eyebrow still lifted questioningly. "I am not in the habit of using words that do not correspond with what I mean to say."

"Unlike you" was the clear implication.

Before they could immerse themselves in another verbal battle, the captain cut them off. "All right," he said. "We all know what's expected of us. Let's get on with the job."


	2. Stolen kisses in the turbolift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock has work to do, but Juno is a tempting diversion.

It was only three months since Spock and Juno had concluded their dramatic and dangerous collaborative project as guest judges in the Gammarami system-wide music competition. Their relationship had kick-started during that time and had solidified in the weeks since, to the point where most of the crew were comfortable with the situation.

Most, but certainly not all. Despite Starfleet having the reputation of welcoming all creeds, species, and planets, individual personalities still caused the occasional complication. Whether it was your arrogant prodigy, your misogynist, your rebel against authority or your good old-fashioned bigot, there was always something.

Even the Enterprise, a ship renowned for fostering excellent working relationships, had had its share of incidents, one of them directed at its Vulcan first officer when his resemblance to a shipload of Romulan foes became apparent. Now, with Spock's unexpected relationship with Juno still taking centre stage weeks after it was revealed, those crew members inclined to complain were doing so with gusto. Several disgruntled types were unable to contain their bigoted comments, but never in the hearing of the captain or any of the senior officers. One had tried to spread unsavoury rumours about Juno and Kirk, but that was nipped in the bud and after a disciplinary process the crew member had been returned to their planet of origin.

On the whole, the situation was satisfactory and as Spock reported to Kirk during their weekly status meetings, crew morale was within acceptable limits.

It was the next alpha shift, and Spock was in the command chair.

The Enterprise had taken up her station at Shadory V and as arranged, Kirk and Scott, with a couple of red-shirted security officers, had beamed down to the planet to reconnoitre and meet with military representatives. McCoy was scheduled to go down the next day to discuss the medical intervention with doctors from Shadory Unified Hospital.

The turbolift doors opened with a soft woosh, and Spock knew it was Juno before she stepped down to stand beside him, not just from her familiar tread or her presence in the mind link, but also from the way some officers could not hide the grins that leaped to their faces and the way their eyes swivelled towards him.

She stopped beside his chair, tall and curvy, dark hair coiffed in the current shipboard fashion of masses of curls piled high on the head.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

Her hesitant smile revealed her unease. This was a part of the ship she rarely visited. She still felt awkward at times about her relationship with Spock, and when he was in command he intimidated her a little with his absolute severity. Compounding her self-consciousness was the impression that all of the bridge crew was studiously not looking at them, but many ears were pricked and some were conspicuously rotated in their direction.

Juno handed Spock a data tablet. He took it, deliberately but discreetly brushing her fingers with his. Nobody noticed because they were all concentrating on their consoles, but even if they had it was highly unlikely that they would recognise the finger touch for what it was - a sensuous Vulcan form of communication. Spock, who was particularly sensitive to stimulation of his fingers, allowed a hint of a smile dimple to emerge in his cheek, as a message to Juno that he was not unaffected.

"Mr Spock, this is a status report from Lieutenant Uhura, and would it be possible for you to come to the communications lab?"

Spock nodded briskly but his eyes were warm as he held her gaze. "Very well. Thank you, Lieutenant. You have the con, Mr Sulu. I shall be back presently."

"Aye, sir." The helmsman moved to the chair as Spock vacated it.

In the turbolift, Spock looked penetratingly at Juno. "What was so urgent that you had to deliver a message to me in person?"

"This," Juno said, and she pulled his head towards her and kissed him.

Her wiliness was agreeable. He too had been strangely restive on the bridge, sensing a pull from the communications lab - but his duties always came first. With one notable exception, he had never allowed personal matters to interfere with his work, not even when his father's life was at stake. But the _pon farr_ had rendered him incapable of carrying out his duties and had almost killed him, and in the end the entire ship had to divert from a mission to urgently take him to Vulcan.

So ordinarily he would simply have waited until their shifts were done. Except now she was here. It was therefore illogical to deny himself that which he had desired, since it was at hand. He stopped the turbolift and pressed her against the wall with his body.

Juno was one of the tallest women on the ship. Only slightly shorter than her lover, her splendid, curvaceous height suited both of them perfectly. It meant that all interesting bits were within easy reach.

"Why, Commander," she teased, feeling a lump in his trousers pushing against her hip. "What is this?"

Spock pulled her uniform down, exposing her shoulder. He bit the skin and licked the bite mark, then covered it again. "You know very well that it is my penis enlarging as my level of arousal increases."

Only Spock could make such a dry statement sound spicy.

"What would you like to do about it, sir?" She slipped a probing hand between his legs.

It was tempting, but Spock's conscientiousness won out. He had already indulged himself for personal reasons, albeit not to his satisfaction, and couldn't forgo his duties any longer. There would be time enough later.

"I must return to my responsibilities, _ashayam_ ," he said in his warm, deep voice, bringing her hand up and kissing it. "But I intend to resume this activity in our quarters."

"I'll be waiting," Juno said. She too tried to be a dutiful officer, but she was only human.

Spock accompanied her down to the science complex, where she left him with a chaste kiss on his cheek. But the damage was done. He stopped the turbolift, took a deep breath, engaged his internal bio-controls and focused on draining the blood from his cock. It wouldn't do for the first officer to show up on the bridge with a conspicuous hard-on.

He was yet unaware of the goodwill that most crew felt for him and Juno. Very few would have begrudged him a moment of personal indulgence, even while on duty.

When he stepped out onto the bridge he was once again the immaculate, cool-headed Vulcan - and, he reflected, he had only been away for 8.3 minutes.

He didn't notice the surreptitious, knowing smiles that passed around the upper and lower decks.

"Mr Spock, while you were gone," Uhura said, eyes twinkling at him, "we received a message from Shadory V. The captain will be staying on the planet tonight, but Mr Scott will return momentarily. He asks that you meet with him on his return, sir."

Spock nodded. "Very well. I will be in Engineering. Please retain command, Mr Sulu."

"So the military goons canna guarantee our safety, Mr Spock. If we go down it's at our own risk."

Scott was indignantly reporting to the first officer on the talks with the Shadory military. Apparently they had been cordial enough, but not helpful. They had their hands full with fighting off the rebels and could only promise not to shoot at any Starfleet personnel.

Spock was not surprised. "As I expected. They will keep all their resources for battle. It is logical, if frustrating."

"Captain Kirk even now is tryin' to persuade them to change their minds." Scott's round, friendly face was troubled.

Spock's folded arms and needle-shaped brows almost touching over the bridge of his nose spoke of similar concern for his friend and captain. There was also the necessity to go to plan B, which did not yet exist.

"I fear he will not succeed. We must make plans accordingly to ensure that our medical and security personnel are safe."

"Aye, sir. I'll ha' a full security detail on standby if ye should need it."

"Thank you, Mr Scott. However, it might not be wise to draw too much attention to ourselves. Surrounded by security officers, we look aggressive and become a target. A small, unobtrusive contingent will be able to work its way around more quickly and easily."

"I get what ye're sayin', Mr Spock. I agree."

"Please make the arrangements as you see fit." Spock nodded in greeting and left the room.

* * *

_Ashayam_ \- (Vulcan) beloved; a beloved person.


	3. Malice in the shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone accepts Spock and Juno's relationship.

That same afternoon Uhura and Juno were taking a break from their work, having lunch in the mess hall, when Spock entered and made his way over to their table.

As usual, his entrance caused a minor stir. Most people, however, had become used to seeing him in the mess hall since Juno arrived. Before that Spock had preferred to dine alone in his office or quarters, or in the senior officers' dining room. He rarely used the crew's mess unless he was with Kirk and McCoy. He could have kept to that routine, of course, and simply made arrangements for Juno to join him, but now that she had made friends with Uhura the two were often found having dinner together.

Apart from Yeoman Keiko Tamura, Juno's roommate before she moved in with Spock, she had no other close friends - which was what she preferred. Bustling social circles were not her thing.

And so, sensitive to her need for the company of her girlfriends, Spock adjusted his routine instead. Juno was well aware of this and had thanked him several times in private.

The background chatter had dwindled to its normal level by the time Spock stopped next to Juno. "May I join you?"

"Spock, we have this discussion regularly. You don't need to ask."

"Thank you." He took a seat.

"You're not eating?"

"I will eat later. I wanted to inform you both that it is even more imperative now that we find the key to the war music. I have received word that the Shadory military cannot guarantee the safety of any Starfleet personnel while we are on the planet."

Uhura sighed. "We are making progress, Mr Spock, but it's slow going. Lives are at stake, sir, and we don't want to make a mistake because of haste. Once we decipher the key, though, we'll be able to finish the project quickly."

Spock nodded and absently took a sip of water from a cup next to Juno's plate. She smiled indulgently at him, and he raised an eyebrow in reply.

"The key is, literally, the key to the whole project," she said. "As Uhura says, we'll work a lot quicker once we figure it out."

"That is the breakthrough we all anticipate, Lieutenant, as we will have to take our own safety precautions." He stood. "Good afternoon, Lieutenant Uhura, Lieutenant Morris."

Uhura watched his departing figure, its posture severely upright and looking neither to left nor right. "Is he always so formal?"

"Only in public." Juno smiled fondly.

Because it was still a curiosity for the crew, many pairs of eyes watched the interaction between Spock and Juno. In public there was no difference in the way the Vulcan engaged with her and with other crew members. An occasional eyebrow raise was nothing out of the ordinary, neither was the hint of a smirk when he was particularly amused.

Spock did have his favourites, and he made no secret of it. The affection that sometimes flickered in his eyes was reserved for Captain Kirk and rarely, Doctor McCoy. He also had friendly relationships with his bridge colleagues, notably Lieutenant Uhura, and was strangely enthusiastic about collaborating with Lieutenant Harb Tanzer on the annual crew concert.

But the tenderness that could turn those brown eyes from hardened bedrock to melted chocolate was shared only with the woman in his life.

That didn't stop others from wanting it too.

One pair of eyes watched with particular interest, and malice. The scrutiny was well hidden. Sitting with a group of equally interested colleagues was the best way to disguise an over-eagerness in the pair. One had to be sly, as sly as the woman who had committed a deeply offensive act when she stole the Vulcan's heart.

Now he brazenly consorted with the musicologist, lowering himself to her level! So unnecessary. So insensitive. His ill-considered choice of partner was nothing less than an insult. When he could have chosen someone far more suitable. Someone who was his equal.

No. The liaison was distasteful, repugnant.

It was not to be permitted.


	4. Busy, busy, busy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock has matters well in hand on the important projects.

The next morning, as scheduled, McCoy, two members of Spock's science department - one each from biochemistry and pharmacology - and three security officers beamed down to discuss matters with Shadory medical authorities. Like the team of the previous day, they were heavily protected from infection by positive-pressure biohazard suits and gloves, and carried monitors to warn them if they were entering a highly contaminated area.

When McCoy and his colleagues returned, Kirk was with them.

"Welcome back, gentlemen," said Spock, greeting them in the transporter room. After the mandatory decontamination, which was done twice as an extra precaution, the trio headed to the CMO"s office to discuss the situation.

"I believe we'll be able to synthesize the vaccine without too many problems, Jim," McCoy reported. "It looks like a fairly straightforward type B variant, not unlike the old influenza virus from Earth."

He scanned his computer library and brought up an image of a bristly round organism covered all over with blunt-tipped spikes.

"That's the typical virus. Remember, such an organism exists only to reproduce. It's that reproduction that we have to stop. I have a sample of blood from an infected Shadorian that will be our source material."

He showed another image, this one of a Y-shaped molecule combining with the viral organism. "This protein is the antibody. There are two ways to achieve our goal - we culture the virus and then use a weakened form of it to develop an antibody, or we synthesise antibodies based on the virus present in the blood sample."

"Pros and cons of each method?"

"The first option is time-consuming, Jim. The second option is quicker because we can use nucleic acids to derive a molecule that can bind to the virus and deactivate it - a synthetic antibody. Studies also suggest that tissue penetration is enhanced because these molecules are smaller. In my view the second method will give better results."

He looked to Spock for confirmation. The Vulcan nodded. "I too favour the synthesis of antigen-binding molecules. We will need vast amounts of the material and synthesis will allow us to rapidly produce as much as we want."

"Excellent," said Kirk. "When do you plan to start?"

"As soon as possible, Jim," the CMO replied. "My med techs are setting up an antibody development lab. We can get going later today."

They rose. "Good work, gentlemen. Please let me know the minute you have news."

From McCoy's office, Spock headed to the communications lab. He found Juno and Uhura huddled over a small circuit board, each with a fine-tipped electronic solderer in hand. They were referring to a diagram and adding components carefully.

"Report."

The two lieutenants straightened. Spock was momentarily distracted by Juno rubbing her neck. Concerned, he determined to assist her with the task later.

"We're making progress, Mr Spock," said Uhura, passing the back of her hand over her forehead. 'This is a prototype filter that will alter the sound waves in such a way that their deadly effect is cancelled out. We're going to test it on a computer simulation as soon as possible."

"We are confident that this will work. Then we'll be able to identify those key sequences," Juno added.

Spock nodded in approval. "Please proceed."

From there he went up to the bridge and took his position at the science station. He was monitoring the scope of the epidemic, plotting areas of greatest concentration of victims, because those areas would be the first to get the vaccine.

He was also following the progress of the fighting, making notes of which areas to avoid as the battle ebbed and flowed. It would help nobody if the medical support team beamed into a dangerous area and were injured or worse.

At the same time he was collecting data for a study of the composition and speed of the plasma stream - the solar wind - emanating from the system's star. However, that was a background task that would have to wait until the priority projects were completed.

Juno and Uhura reported a while later that their tests with the filter had been successful. They were now able to listen to the war music without incurring death, and were hopeful of making their first identification by the end of the day.

After his shift Spock stopped by the lab to check on their progress. He was on his way to the antibody development facility, where he would no doubt spend much of the evening. It was going to be a long day.

Uhura demonstrated the sonic filter. She detached it from the data tablet and let Spock examine it, then reattached it and showed him, on the wavelength monitor, the sound spectrum without the deadly frequency of the killing notes.

Spock was pleased. "Good work, lieutenants," he said, giving Uhura a warm look and Juno a light touch on the back of the hand. Uhura's eyes widened. One would have thought that the Vulcan had grabbed Juno and, bending her over the nearest desk, kissed her passionately.

"Sir, pardon my interruption." A young officer wearing the blue of the science department stood just inside the door, holding what looked like a scanner of sorts.

"Yes, Lieutenant Maxwell?"

The lieutenant looked surprised to have captured Spock's attention. He glanced at Juno but she was in a huddle with Uhura again. "Mr Spock, this scanner is not communicating with the main computer. I wonder if you would have a look at it, sir."

Spock held out his hand for the gadget. Maxwell deposited the scanner into the Vulcan's palm and stood to one side. Spock connected the scanner to his tricorder and within two minutes had isolated and fixed the problem.

Looking simultaneously admiring, grateful, and faintly embarrassed, Maxwell retrieved the device and moved into the adjoining lab. Juno could see him busily working with a piece of equipment near the door.

"I am expected in the antibody development lab now," Spock said, "but I would find it interesting to look at your software coding for the main program to ensure it is fully compatible with the filtering device. Perhaps we could arrange that tomorrow."

Uhura informed them she was working alpha shift on the bridge the next day and would be unable to participate. It fell therefore to Juno to work with Spock on the software.

"Thank you, ladies. If you'll excuse me." Spock, bearing the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face, dipped his head towards Juno and Uhura, and left the room.

"He touched your hand, that's so special," Uhura breathed, delighted. "It's the first time I've seen him actually do anything with you."

Maxwell, still hovering near the door in the adjoining lab, uttered a curse as a lever on the machine suddenly snapped off. He looked around at them apologetically, fished out a spare from a drawer near his feet, and began to replace the broken part.

"And that light touch is about all you'll ever see, friend," Juno said. "Spock is restrained even in front of the captain and Doctor McCoy, who were the first ones to know about us. And they're his close friends."

"He always was the very essence of subtlety."

They shared a feminine smile of agreement.


	5. More alike than they know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and McCoy are at it again.

In the antibody development lab a while later, the situation was tense.

"No, Spock, I said two drops of n-hydroxyzetafoil, not three."

"Doctor, I do not believe a mere two drops will have the denaturing effect we are looking for."

The antagonists were facing off on opposite sides of a laboratory counter, in the centre of which was a flask containing a pink cloudy solution.

"Denaturing? We're not looking for a denaturing effect, Spock. We want the viral matter to settle out of solution so that we can filter it out and recover the genetic record."

"But first it has to be denatured, Doctor, or do you want live viral matter standing on a bench just waiting to be knocked over and aspirated into people's lungs or sucked into the air ducts?"

"I don't know about you, Mr Spock, but I can get around a lab without bumping into the equipment."

The Vulcan folded his arms, a sure indication that he was settling in to the debate. "I draw your attention, Doctor, to that time we were tasked with assisting Toweaker VII with the outbreak of pigeon pox. If memory serves, an entire batch of life-saving medicine was destroyed by someone" - here he looked beadily at McCoy with one eyebrow lifted - "knocking the container to the deck."

"Now just a minute, Spock," McCoy retorted, pointing a finger at his opponent. "You know very well that wasn't me."

Spock was unmoved. "It was you, Leonard, and it makes a convincing case for denaturing the viral matter before it is inadvertently spread around the ship and infects us all."

Kirk, standing at the door of the lab, waited patiently while Spock and McCoy argued the merits of their respective cases. As the debate grew more heated Kirk's smile got wider. This was so typical of his two friends - they loved to test and push each other, sometimes to the limits. But affection and respect underpinned all their dealings with each other, even when they were upset or angry.

"Gentlemen," he said finally, seeing that the argument showed no sign of running out of steam.

They both spun around in surprise.

"Oh, hi Jim," said McCoy. "Professor Spock here and I were just discussing how to start precipitating the viral material so we can filter it out."

Kirk nodded, looking amused. "And have you reached a consensus?"

"Yes, Jim. We're going to denature the viral material in vitro, and then filter it out once it falls out of solution."

The sudden agreement caused the Vulcan's right eyebrow to climb up his forehead. "We will in essence be left with the genetic signature of the virus and that will guide us in synthesising the deactivating molecules on a large scale."

"Spock," McCoy asked combatively, "how do you know we need three drops of n-hydroxyzetafoil and not two?"

It was not total agreement, then. Spock raised both eyebrows now. "Because I have calculated our exact requirements based on the molecular weight of the viral DNA."

The two moved over to where a fume cabinet had been set up.

Spock was still talking. "I'm surprised, Doctor, that this elementary medical and scientific fact has escaped you."

McCoy drew himself up indignantly, and Kirk took the opportunity to make his escape. 'Professor' Spock - he would hold onto that one for a suitable time. He chuckled, listening to the ongoing debate fading into the distance, as he strolled down the corridor towards the turbolift and a meal in the officers' mess.


	6. Can one ever get enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Juno indulge in some post-shift entertainment.

Over dinner in their quarters much later that evening, Spock and Juno discussed the progress of their respective projects. As science officer, Spock liked to be kept up to date with all the work happening in his department. Many a junior officer had learned that the hard way.

"We are very close to isolating the first sequence," Juno reported. "We had expected at least one by the end of the shift, but we struggled a little to get the identification software properly configured. By this time tomorrow we should have at least two."

Spock laced his fingers together and pondered briefly. "And when do you anticipate having all four sequences?"

Juno thought carefully. Spock's partner she might be, but she was also working on an important project under his supervision and if she failed to deliver on any commitment, he would not be pleased. Nobody dared to disappoint the illustrious science officer.

"We hope to have them all within three days. But to save time, we'll start working on the specific filters as soon as we have each sequence. We plan to use the generic filter as our baseline and modify it as needed. That work will actually be the easiest."

"You are doing well, _ashayam_."

She reached for his hand and lifted it to her lips. "Thank you, love. I hear that you and Doctor McCoy are having some interesting discussions around your project."

Spock's eyes twinkled with amusement. "As we always do."

"But it seems to be a kind of catalyst, because you and the doctor work so efficiently together." Still holding his hand, Juno ran her mouth from the base of his index finger to the tip. Her blue eyes were big and mischievous.

Spock shivered with delight as she tongued the sensitive fingertip. Stimulating his fingers never failed to get him hot and wanting. "That is true," he said a little hoarsely. "Doctor McCoy is... ah... a valued colleague... Juno..."

Juno took pity on him and released his hand. He returned to his meal, pretending that his cheeks were not flushed a delicate shade of green and he didn't have an erection that was trying to poke its way out of his sweatpants.

The foot that crept up his leg and tickled the inside of his thigh had no such illusions. And when the toes tapped gently against his crotch he yielded with a groan, holding onto the shapely ankle and working his aching penis against the foot.

Not everyone was lucky enough to have the handsome Commander Spock masturbate against their foot, looking as hot as Sol as he did so. Spock as a man was extraordinarily attractive, a fact he neither acknowledged nor agreed with. Because his demeanour was usually so strictly regulated, for Juno he was never more beautiful than during sex, when his guard was down, his mental controls were relaxed, and his inhibitions were abandoned.

His moans of pleasure, and the hardness of his cock under her sole made her limp with need for him.

Their mind link was humming.

_I want you now_

_Sit on me, ashayam_

Niceties could wait. Juno wrenched her foot away and stripped her shorts off as Spock hastily pulled his sweatpants over his thighs and angled his cock towards her in invitation, stroking it slowly.

"I'll have some of that," she murmured, straddling him in his chair as he reached for her and pulled her down. She was slick and warm inside. Like dipping one's penis into hot oil, Spock's mind told him, specifically the variety of nut oil called _sh'itra_ , found only on his home planet.

Then he forgot about Vulcan oils as Juno began to rock her hips, looking for the angle that would put her clit in contact with his pubic bone. He liked this technique, its slow sensuousness, and the way it gave Juno control. He enjoyed watching her being the one to set the pace of their lovemaking. His telepathic senses told him that she particularly favoured it too.

Her body was open to him, all the parts he loved within his grasp. Her full breasts, possibly his favourite of all, so responsive to his touch, cinnamon-tinted nipples swollen and hard under her t-shirt. Lower down, her softly curved stomach, and below it, where they were joined, the lush hips and dark-furred cleft.

A gasp and a surge of arousal, telepathically sensed through their skin contact, told him she had found the angle she had sought. She caught his admiring gaze, coffee-brown eyes shining with love, and bent to kiss him, running her hands through his glossy black hair.

His hands on her hips steadied her.

"Lift your t-shirt, _ashayam_ ," he murmured against her mouth.

Knowing what he wanted, Juno swiftly removed the garment and tossed it aside. Spock leaned forward and fastened his mouth to one plump nipple. He began to suck strongly in time to her movement, while kneading the other nipple with his long, supple fingers.

By now Juno was jerking her hips against his, whimpering and gasping his name. When she came he felt her clench around his penis and through the mind link, he savoured the waves of ecstatic pleasure that flowed and crested within her.

Her radiant smile after an orgasm always made him feel proud.

"That was amazing," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his, "but one of us is lagging behind."

Spock had not yet climaxed. Now he stood, supporting Juno with his great physical strength, and moved to the bed. Along the way he divested himself of the rest of his clothes and with Juno's help his own t-shirt, lifting each arm in turn - all without dislodging her.

He deposited her gently on the covers. Still inside her, he began to thrust rapidly, nuzzling her neck and biting her ear. The vivid green flush spreading over him from the cheeks down, and the muttered Vulcan words were the signs that he was about to come.

He gasped and stiffened and there, she felt the fiery heat of his semen spreading deep inside. Often this triggered another orgasm for her, but tonight she just wasn't up to it.

Later, while cuddling in bed, Spock raised himself on an elbow and regarded his partner intently.

"I sense some physical pain in you. In fact, this afternoon you seemed to have some tenderness in your neck."

"I have a slight headache but it's nothing to worry about, love. By tomorrow it'll be fine, I'm sure."

He stroked her forehead gently, telepathically feeling for the site of the pain. "What is the cause?"

"Just work pressure. Nothing I can't handle."

Everyone should have a Vulcan, Juno thought, relaxing under his sensitive touch. Those long, elegant fingers were magical instruments that could soothe, excite, communicate, stimulate, and everything in between.

_Everyone can have other Vulcans. I am spoken for_

_I love you_


	7. An innocent casualty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something goes horribly wrong when Spock tests the sonic filter.

The next day, though the headache dissipated during the relaxation of sleep, by mid-shift it had returned and Juno was clearly struggling.

She was scheduled to sit with Spock and take notes while he analysed the program for identifying the lethal war music sequences. He, however, insisted that she retire to their quarters to rest. He would have a cursory look at the coding and retest the device they had made and they would have their session the next day. 

"Are you sure?"

"Affirmative." They were alone in the communications lab and he felt comfortable enough to press his mouth to her temple. "You will not be productive if you are distracted by pain. Humans find pain much harder to control or ignore." 

That was true.

"All right. I'll see you later." 

Before settling down to the business at hand, Spock did the rounds of the other laboratories in the science complex. He ran an efficient, productive department and part of the reason for that was because he was personally involved with all the work and all the projects, albeit mostly in a supervisory capacity. This was something he'd learned from his captain, who was the most hands-on leader he'd ever worked with.

Finally he returned to the communications lab and called up the program which had been developed by Juno and Uhura and written by software engineers from his programming department. Spock did not doubt the ability of the engineers; when lives were at stake, however, there was no such thing as being too careful.

He was also mindful that Juno had reported some difficulty in configuring the software. An initial check revealed no obvious flaw in the coding. Tomorrow he would work with Juno on fine-tuning the program.

He moved on to studying the data tablet with its sonic filter attached. He examined it carefully and checked the connections; they were intact. He did not take it apart, as his last recollection of the apparatus was when the safe hands of Lieutenant Uhura had connected and then tested it. 

Satisfied, he switched on the music, and immediately knew something was wrong. His brain felt like it was vibrating. It was a sickening sensation. He reached out clumsily for the tablet, noting that his coordination was off. His hand knocked the device off the table and it clattered to the deck and broke. The sound stopped abruptly. Spock, however, was already irreversibly affected. 

It was as if a wall had come down around his consciousness. The lab, the ship, the assignment ceased to matter. He did not even have the capability to wonder why he was still alive when human brainwaves were instantly disrupted by the sounds. His Vulcan mind had saved him from death, but unable to cope with the pressure the conscious part of it had largely shut down, except for autonomic functions and basic impulses. 

One of those was that he wanted sex. And he knew where to get it. 

He left the lab. 


	8. Spock does the unthinkable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under the influence of the war music, Spock does a terrible thing.

Juno, with the aid of a cup of mint-flavoured green tea and a warm neck pad, had managed to dispel much of her headache. A hot shower had also helped immeasurably. Now she was brushing her hair in front of her mirror when Spock entered, came up behind her and fumbled with his trousers. Then he roughly began to remove her clothes.

"Spock, what are you doing?"

She caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror - his expression was blank and his eyes were dead. There was sign of consciousness, no emotion, no awareness. Something was terribly wrong. She reacted too late - he tore her panties off, forced her legs apart and jammed a dry, rough-skinned erection into her. It hurt. Juno cried out in pain but he was oblivious, although it must have hurt him too. He thrust savagely and came very quickly, with no apparent thought for her at all.

Dizzy with pain and confusion, Juno couldn't defend herself. All her Starfleet training had never prepared her for an attack from someone so close to her. It was as if she was rooted to the spot. Everything felt numb. The helplessness terrified her. 

She thought Spock was done, but to her horror she felt him still hard, still pumping. How was this possible?

"Spock, stop!" she cried. It was as if she hadn't uttered the words. He thrust and thrust until he climaxed again, and Juno began to cry when she felt the hard rod of his penis still moving inside her. With an effort she rocked back suddenly and shoved him away from her. He tottered, off balance. She kicked his thigh and he fell, and while he scrabbled on the floor to regain his feet she ran for the door.

He took just a few strides to catch her. She screamed and he put a hand over her mouth. That convinced her that it might be Spock's body violating her, but something else was controlling it. Her lover would never do something so abhorrent.

"Spock, stop …"

He threw her on the bed and fell on her. Incredibly, his erection had not diminished even slightly, not even when she kicked him away. And he was too strong. Far too strong for her to fight off although she got in a few hard blows across his head, and eventually she lost count of the number of times he'd ejaculated. She couldn't feel the searing heat of his semen any more; his body had probably expelled every drop it had, but he was still driven to perform the act, again and again.

"Spock, please!"

She sobbed in pain as he penetrated her again. By now his body was tiring, every breath was dragged into his lungs, but he kept going. Something was terribly wrong in his brain and it didn't know when to stop. Despite the pain and horror, Juno began to fear that he would simply fuck himself, and her, to death at this rate.

In desperation she did the only thing she could think of - she pressed his hand to her face. Exhausted now, he did not resist. Feeling the warmth that was not only from his fingers, she let her fear and terror flow into him. In that instant, what she experienced coming from him was... absolute blankness. There was no consciousness, no Spock - at least, not the Spock she knew.

Her panic cut through his stupor, and he stopped. But the look of horror in his eyes, when he looked at her and down at himself, when he realised what had happened, tore Juno's heart in two. He withdrew from her, glancing quickly at her genital area. What he saw made the blood drain from his face.

"We must get Doctor McCoy here," he rasped, barely able to draw breath to speak. "I have hurt you -"

McCoy was there within minutes.

"Please see to Juno first," Spock instructed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders hunched, holding a hand against his head. Neither of them had dressed.

Approaching the patients, McCoy could hardly comprehend what he was witnessing. As a space doctor he had seen any sight you could care to imagine, but this was inconceivable. Their abused bodies, the scratches and bruises. The pain and fear and marks of violence on Spock's face. The tears pouring down Juno's cheeks.

"Can you tell me what happened?" he asked her gently. "Don't worry - doctor-patient privilege is in effect. What happens in this room stays here until you decide otherwise."

Juno described Spock's automaton-like behaviour and the subsequent cold brutality that he had inflicted on her. When she told him of the forced meld that got through to him and the emptiness she sensed in his mind, McCoy grew thoughtful. He had encountered a mindless Spock before; in that case, however, the Vulcan's entire brain had been physically removed from his skull. Could this have been a similar thing, only with the brain not removed but rather disconnected?

"It's not his fault, Doctor," she sobbed over and over. "It wasn't him."

McCoy examined her with infinite care. The blood and the amount of semen trickling out of her told him that this had been a violent, lengthy session. Her clit was grossly swollen and McCoy couldn't touch even the surrounding tissue without her whimpering in pain. With the aid of local anaesthetic he cleaned her gently, and in a hypospray administered an antibiotic, an anti-inflammatory, a muscle relaxant, and something for the pain.

"You'll be fine, darlin'. A bit sore for a couple of days and then 100%." Physically, at least, he thought. The emotional shock and trauma was a whole other matter.

He turned to Spock, who looked broken. The Vulcan had been watching McCoy's every move with dark, hurt eyes.

"Now you, Spock."

"I do not deserve -"

"Lie down." McCoy also had a command tone, saved only for dire emergencies, and he had no hesitation in using it on Spock, who complied meekly.

The bruised and exhausted Vulcan body was not the only problem. When he examined Spock's genital area, McCoy saw extensive irritation of the skin around his penis and blood - green and red - from abraded tissue. Not surprising, if he'd been going at it for that long. He gave Spock the same medical cocktail, figuring that his human part would know what to do with it, and applied a numbing antiseptic cream to the abused organ.

He turned his attention to Spock's face, examining the bruises and scratch marks with a light touch. "Tell me what you remember, Spock."

While McCoy busied himself with the dermal regenerator, the first officer hesitantly described his actions leading up to the sickening blankness that had settled over his mind. He told the doctor that the previous day the device had worked perfectly during the demonstration and both Juno and Uhura were fully confident of its efficacy. Externally it looked exactly as it had when last he saw it, and he had not opened it up because he had no reason to believe it would be in a different condition.

McCoy's blue eyes were fierce. "Whoever did this - and I'll bet my last credit somebody did - has a lot to answer for."

"Does that mean you believe me?"

"I have no reason not to, darlin'. I trust that you know what you're saying. I also believe everything Spock says."

Spock, he noticed, didn't react.

"I'd like to have Juno in sickbay overnight," he said, wincing inwardly at the distraught look on Spock's face. He took the Vulcan's arm gently. "Just for observation. She'll be fine, Spock. And nobody will know why, I promise. This is confidential information that stops with me. I would like your permission to tell the captain, though."

"Please, not just yet," Juno said, and she saw Spock nod in agreement.

"It's entirely your decision to postpone a report, of course, but I recommend against it. He will have to know soon. And I want you to stay in bed for the day as well," he said to Spock.

"No, Doctor. I have assaulted a fellow officer. I will hand myself over to Mr Scott for incarceration in the brig."

At this, Juno broke down again in wrenching sobs. McCoy, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders, once more noted Spock's peculiar apathy with regard to himself. It was as if he'd pulled the shutters down on the proud, caring person he was.

"Let's not be hasty here, Spock," McCoy advised. "I know as sure as eggs is eggs that you, of all people, are not capable of doing such a thing. You couldn't even contemplate it. Juno says there's something funny going on, and you weren't yourself. If that’s true, then firstly, we'll need you available to help us get to the bottom of this and secondly, it's not you who should be in the brig."

"Very well, Doctor," said Spock bleakly. "But I do not need rest. I would prefer to work my duty shift as usual."

"All right, Spock." McCoy understood that the Vulcan would be better off keeping himself busy with his normal duties.

Just not right now, though. He pressed a hypospray to Spock's neck without any warning.

"Doctor McCoy, I don't... need..." His body went limp as unconsciousness took him.

"Yes, Spock, you do," said the doctor. Turning to Juno, he added, "That'll knock him out for the rest of the night. If nothing else, it'll give his mind a fighting chance. The physical exhaustion will only hinder the other healing that he needs."

He covered the sleeping Vulcan with a blanket and left a message telling him to take the next shift off and report to sickbay some time during the day.


	9. Trying to make sense of it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock, Juno and McCoy try to understand what has happened.

Spock stormed into sickbay after he woke up, grim-faced, looking as fragile as a glass sculpture and blazing with anger at McCoy's trickery. Nobody dared to even greet him as he made his way to the doctor's office and shut the door. Words were heard for some minutes, before the Vulcan flung the door open and left as hurriedly as he'd arrived.

Not even Juno had received so much as a glance, although McCoy had had the foresight to move her to a private room in case Spock tried to talk to her. Things were bad enough without gossip and speculation adding to the turmoil - but, the doctor reflected now, that little stunt Spock had just pulled had already caused some concern. He'd have to do some damage control.

McCoy went over to her, shaking his head. "I've never seen him like that before, except once. So emotional he could scarcely articulate himself, and barely aware of what's going on around him. Whatever happened to his mind, it's turned everything upside down. He urgently needs help, but he refuses it."

Juno's expression was as grim as her lover's. "How did I end up with the most stubborn man on the ship?"

"Spock has always been excessively hard on himself."

"And everyone has to suffer because of it," she retorted angrily, then lapsed into stony silence.

With a morose sigh, McCoy left her to her thoughts and headed for the antibody development lab.

_Spock?_

Juno flung herself down on the pillow and reached for him through the mind link, but the connection was gone. He had shut it off.

Fuck it, would the crying never stop? The sheet was soaked by the time the sobs eased up, but she felt a little better, more focused and alert. She almost felt clear-headed enough to assess what had happened and what still needed to happen.

On that note, Juno wondered why she was still relatively calm. Rape was a horrible, traumatic experience that tore the soul to shreds. She had been raped, hadn't she? Non-consensual sex was rape, whether it was your partner or a stranger or a family member or friend. She had heard of women and men who couldn't bear to be in the presence of anyone who even reminded them of their attacker. They had nightmares and panic attacks. Their psyches were irrevocably damaged.

She didn't feel irrevocably damaged. Unless there was still too much shock for her to accurately gauge how she felt. 

She knew it was important to establish the reason for this. No, it was far more than important - everything hinged on that reason. It took some intensive soul-searching to dig up the answer. And she finally understood - in her heart, not just in her mind, she knew Spock had been attacked just as much as she had. He wasn't the guilty party. And now he had to live with what he'd done.

Had this been deliberate?

If so, Spock was the conduit for someone's feelings of - what?   


Spock, meanwhile, had made his way down to the observation lounge. The room was unlikely to be occupied at this time of the day and he had thought to meditate to bring his mental state back under control. It was no use trying to achieve a meditative state in his quarters - he'd attempted it but because it was the scene of what he thought of as the crime, he was unable to focus.

Unsure where to go, hurting physically and mentally, and so ashamed he couldn't bring himself to even look in Juno's direction in sickbay, he'd fled to the comfort of the stars. Meditating before the stellar panorama had been beneficial in the past, but this time was different. He struggled to marshal his thoughts and could not relax.

Pacing before the great transparent window only made him more agitated. Fighting a rising level of panic, he lowered his tired body into the same couch corner that Juno favoured during the early days when they were becoming friends. Was that a hint of her fragrance? Logically he knew it couldn't be but it comforted him to think that it was, and to hope that some of her vibrant essence still lingered here. 

With grim perseverance and deep breathing exercises, Spock finally achieved some degree of control. He'd closed down the mind link some time before because he couldn't bear the possibility of rejection from Juno - so he had done it first.

He was still trying to process what had happened. Juno's assertion that he had not been in control of his actions was logical, and it was correct. But he was a Vulcan - how could he not be in control? His entire life had been an exercise in mental and emotional control, and to admit that he had failed was to have failed as a Vulcan.

If only he could meditate, the answer would come.

Until then, it was illogical to procrastinate further. He must face the music, to use an odd phrase the captain was fond of, especially in reference to actions by the Klingons. Spock rose and bravely went back up to sickbay, to face the expected wrath of the doctor and Juno's scorn and loathing.


	10. Unwarranted guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock blames himself, without taking into account the effect of the war music on him.

Emotional exhaustion had taken its toll on Juno. She had fallen into a restless sleep and now opened her eyes to see Spock approaching quietly. He shut the door and sat next to her bed, clasping his hands together primly. "I don't expect mercy."

Still harbouring frustration at his stubbornness, Juno spoke more harshly than she intended to. "What is it that you expect, Spock?"

He hung his head, looking desolate. "Your tone is, in fact, confirming what I expected. I fully deserve such contempt."

Juno felt sadness and alarm. This wasn't going well. The last thing she wanted to do was chase him away through misunderstanding. Whether he liked it or not, they needed each other now, or neither of them would recover.

She gentled her voice, thinking of how he too must be suffering. "Spock, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound -"

He interrupted her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Juno. It is I who must beg your forgiveness, " he said vehemently. "I am the one who caused all this trouble, the culprit who must be held accountable."

"But it wasn't you, Spock."

He sighed. "It was my body, if not my mind."

They were going around in circles, repeating the same words and not getting anywhere. She reached over and took his hand, miserably feeling him tense and resist. "Spock. Stop beating yourself up."

"Beating - ?"

"It means that you're blaming yourself. Telling yourself you did something wrong. Please, love, stop it now."

He shook his head. "Juno, I raped you. I hurt you."

Juno gritted her teeth. How did other partners of stubborn Vulcans even cope?" The person that is Spock didn't do any such thing. My mind linked with yours for a moment. Spock, there was emptiness on the other side. There was no you. It could not have been a choice on your part."

He looked at the readings on the panel above her bed, noting that the stress indicator was rising. This was his doing, and he must undo it. So, with a final squeeze of her hand, he left.

When McCoy came in and saw Juno weeping again, he was ready to bring Spock in for questioning and then read him the riot act. "That green-blooded idiot! Coming into my sickbay as brazen as you like, and upsetting my patients! He's got a nerve!"

But Juno shook her head. "He's hurting too. Can you imagine what this has done to him? "

McCoy knew it was true. That hard-headed Vulcan would never admit it, though, and that also meant he wouldn't give in to McCoy's advice that he seek help. "What do you suggest, Miz Juno? We can't just leave him to stew."

The 'we' sent Juno into another round of tears. "Now, now, darlin'. You're not alone. You didn't think I was just gonna stand by and watch you two fall apart? He's my friend, and he loves you. That makes it personal."

The doctor sat on the edge of her bed and held her hand until the sobs went away. "I want you both to think seriously about bringing the captain into the picture. He is ultimately responsible for the safety and wellbeing of everyone aboard, and this is something that he really has to know about."

Juno nodded in agreement. "Yes, I think we should. Please check with Spock, although I don't think he'll argue."


	11. The plot thickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhura finds that the sonic filter appears to have been damaged deliberately.

Uhura carefully cracked open the case enclosing the sonic filter. She removed the cover and immediately saw the reason for the doctor's concern. When he called her to his office an hour ago McCoy had told her only that something had happened to Spock when he turned on the music the day before and he was suffering some kind of trauma. He asked her to check the equipment, and mentioned almost as a by-the-way that Juno was feeling under the weather and wouldn't be on duty today.

Her precise, delicate handiwork was ruined. Several components had been gouged from their sockets or simply torn away. This was not caused by the tablet falling to the floor. There was no way the filter could have worked.

So the doctor hadn't been entirely honest with her. It was far more than just a trauma, if Spock had been exposed to the war music in its unfiltered state. She fought off a chill at the realisation that he could have died. Shadory war music was designed for humans, and that, Uhura thought, was what saved his life. His Vulcan brain functioned on a higher level than that of a human.

But who would have done this? It was obviously deliberate. And, she recognised, the way the work had been so roughly destroyed spoke of rage. Someone was angry - with Spock? Juno?

A DNA analysis would yield a definite result, as the only people who had handled the filter were her and Juno, and presumably Spock when he used it last. Any other biological traces would belong to an unauthorised person. She would also check to see if there was any security footage.

First, though, she had to let the doctor know what she'd found. "Uhura to Doctor McCoy."

"McCoy here."

"Doctor, you didn't tell me the whole story, did you?"

She heard the sigh on the other end. "No, Lieutenant, to protect Spock's privacy. He hasn't even told the captain." And that, McCoy thought, was all Uhura was going to get out of him.

"You know that information is safe with me," she assured him. "Although it doesn't seem right."

"This is Spock's wish, Uhura."

"Well, you were right to suspect something," she informed him. "The sonic filter has been damaged, in such a way that it could only have been done deliberately. We need to run forensic tests to find out who else handled the device."

The doctor's string of colourful curse words rang in her ears. "Please take it to Spock, Lieutenant. Forensics is his department."

He did not say aloud that it might give the Vulcan some comfort to know that his rampage was engineered and that it wasn't some fault within him, as he seemed to believe.

Uhura took the device to Spock's office. The Vulcan was seated at his desk, writing industriously on a data tablet. He looked up, bleak-eyed and austere, as Uhura entered.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Mr Spock, this sonic filter has been tampered with. I am reporting sabotage."

As Spock took the device, Uhura noticed that his hands shook, but, discreet as ever, she said nothing. She thought he also looked drawn and terribly tired.

"I agree with you, Lieutenant," he said in a low, gravelly voice. "Someone has gone to some effort to damage this equipment."

Uhura kept McCoy's request to herself. Spock was her friend as well as her superior officer, and she knew him well enough to understand his intense desire for privacy, just as McCoy did. If anything had happened that she should know about, he would tell her.

"I request permission to take this to the biology labs for analysis of organic material, sir. It might tell us who handled the filter besides those who are working on it."

Spock nodded. It seemed to the communications officer that a light had appeared in his eyes where there had been none before.

"Very well. I will arrange with Lieutenant Maxwell to have it analysed. By the time you get there he will be waiting."

"Thank you, sir."

Spock nodded again. "Lieutenant," he said as the door opened, "please let me know if you find anything."

"At once, sir."

Maxwell in the biochemistry lab was waiting to receive the device. He took it and slipped it into a portable cryo chamber. "That's to keep it safe until I get the equipment set up," he explained. "If you come back in 36 hours I should have results."


	12. You've got a friend in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim Kirk is not the kind of man to hesitate when his friend needs him.

With the permission of Spock and Juno, McCoy went to the captain early the next morning. Kirk was stricken with horror when the CMO updated him on the situation. For some time he simply gaped at the doctor, stunned.

McCoy's face was grave as he went on. "It's just them and us who know. Uhura suspects because I asked her to check the filter, but I've given her no details. As you can imagine, it's not the sort of information that they want to allow to spread."

Kirk jumped to his feet and paced the perimeter of his quarters like a caged beast. "Good God. Why didn't they come to me straight away? Why am I the last to know?"

"They were both in shock, Jim. It was terrible. Spock, well, I've never seen him so devastated. Juno has been in tears virtually non-stop. They didn't want even you to know, but as CMO it's my duty to inform you."

He saw pain creep into the captain's face. "Tell me everything, Bones. What happened, why did it happen, and what can I do to help? Then I want to talk to Spock."   


Spock announced his presence outside Kirk's door and was admitted.

"Captain, I presume this meeting is with regard to... what I did. You are within your rights to subject me to a disciplinary procedure, of course. I will make no protest -"

"Spock! Juno's right, you do talk too much." Kirk gestured to the other chair. "Sit, please."

Spock sat. The captain studied his friend and grieved inwardly when he perceived the heartache weighing down on him. The brown eyes that normally looked at him with affection and humour were dull and dark. A deep crease cut between the elegantly pointed eyebrows and his brow was furrowed with worry. Even his normally impeccable hair was ruffled in one or two places. He looked worn out.

"How can I help?" was all Kirk said, but they were the right words.

Spock sighed heavily, and for a shocking moment Kirk saw his eyes glitter with moisture, but the sleek head dipped and when Spock met his eyes again he was in control.

"I - thank you, Jim. I didn't expect the consideration that you are showing or indeed, that Doctor McCoy has shown."

"And Juno?"

"She, too, has not turned from me. I do not deserve it."

"Why not? Do you think all three of us are crazy? That we'll judge you before we know what actually happened? Was this a deliberate act on your part? Did you hurt her knowing what you were doing?"

Spock's expression hardened into granite.

"Don't be angry," Kirk said. "I'm trying to get it into your head that you, the Spock that we know and love, are not responsible and that we, your friends, understand this."

"How can you say that, Jim? It was my body that hurt her, that - raped her," his eyes squeezed shut in pain, "even if my mind was not in control."

Kirk sat back. He reached down and brought out a bottle of Scotch and two glasses from the desk cupboard. He poured a generous amount into each glass and gave one to Spock. "Drink it. You need it."

The Vulcan didn't argue. He took a couple of deep draughts and waited.

"And that brings me to my next question. Why was your mind not in control?"

There was silence from the other side of the desk.

"Spock. Talk to me."

"Jim, I believe Juno will be better off if I dissolve our relationship and -"

The captain pounded the desk with his fist. "Oh no you don't, mister. You and I are going to get to the bottom of this, and you and Juno will get through it. You can count on my support, and McCoy's."

Spock drained his glass and held it out for a refill.

"Very well. I will tell you what I remember and what I suspect happened."


	13. I will fight for him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno makes her feelings and intentions clear.

It was a tired and drained Vulcan who left the captain's quarters some time later. Next, Kirk asked Juno to pay him a visit.

"Spock has given his permission for me to tell you what he told me," he said, pouring her a glass of Scotch too. "I'm pretty sure he's too ashamed to share anything with you, apart from the little he told McCoy in your presence."

Juno nodded. "He's all but closed himself off. He hasn't meditated since it happened. I'm not sure if he's even able to. He's tried, judged and convicted himself without talking to anybody. Captain," she said, "he's so intelligent and so logical, but he's really struggling to cope with this situation." 

Kirk, who knew his best friend and first officer well, had seen the big issue immediately. "Because it cuts to the very heart of his Vulcanness and his lifelong obligation and dedication to always being in control of himself. It has shaken him very badly, to the point where he's questioning himself."

"Yes. I see that."

"Plus he's stubborn, and he's in pain. A terrible combination of circumstances." He thought back to the time he'd had to virtually drag information from Spock about his _pon farr._ If he hadn't persisted, Spock would have died and the worst part was that the Vulcan would have accepted his fate.

Kirk continued: "But first, tell me how you are doing. I can't imagine the trauma of what you went through, and are going through. You seem outwardly a lot calmer than Spock."

"Doctor McCoy has been very supportive, Captain. I've had two counselling sessions with him and they've helped a lot. Spock, of course, won't hear of it."

The captain nodded in glum understanding.

"And I don't know if you will understand this, but despite its aberrant behaviour, some part in my mind kept telling me it was still the body I know and -" her voice faltered, "love."

Kirk's eyes were gentle, his voice soft. "I would have thought that would make it even more traumatic."

"You would think so," she said with a forlorn smile. "But for me, no. My heart knows that the part of Spock that makes conscious decisions and deliberate choices had nothing to do with this. I can't punish him for something he's not directly responsible for."

Kirk was warmed by her clear-cut, supremely courageous view of the horrifying experience. "I could almost say that's a very Vulcan way of looking at it."

"I guess it's an inevitable consequence of being close to one."

"He's doing a good job of punishing himself, you know."

"I do know," Juno said. "And I won't accept it. I love him too much to not fight for him."

"I respect you for that, and for Spock's sake I'm grateful," Kirk said sincerely. "With that attitude, you two might just have a chance."

"Provided one of us stops digging his heels in," Juno sighed. "What did he tell you, Captain?"

"He said it was just after he advised you to go and rest, because you had a headache. He was willing to do some work on his own. He remembers turning on the music and immediately feeling terrible. His brain felt like it was vibrating, he said, and heating up from the inside. He tried to switch the device off but couldn't make his hand obey his will. Then he remembers nothing until coming to his senses in your quarters and -"

Juno knew some of this from what Spock had said during McCoy's examination of him, but Kirk's narration was sickening. Her stomach churned painfully. She fought down a lump that rose into her throat, hastily covered her mouth with a hand and dashed for the bathroom. Her ashen face when she emerged told the captain exactly how bad she felt.

"Excuse me, Captain. I can't seem to do anything these days without crying or throwing up. It's becoming irritating."

"You're excused," he said gently. "It's understandable."

"Oh, Spock... My heart is broken for what he endured." Her lower lip quivered. She clenched her fists, fighting the impulse to cry and only partially succeeding.

The captain, knowing that her tears were for the man they both loved, waited quietly for her to compose herself.

"I left him to go through that alone. It should have been both of us -" Her eyes widened with the frightening realisation. "Captain, don't you see? It was meant to be both of us working together."

"That would mean … there would have been two victims. Yes… Spock's Vulcan mind saved him from death, but you would have had no defence," he mused, stroking his jaw thoughtfully. "And whoever did this couldn't have known that Spock would survive. They would have assumed he would die too."

"And not only us, but others might have been affected."

"It would have been a tragic accident. And the filter would have disappeared immediately afterwards." 

"The culprit might even have gotten away with it."

They looked at each other.

"That amounts to attempted murder," Kirk said in a cold voice. "Aboard _my_ ship."

The emphasis on the second word left Juno in no doubt that the captain would move heaven and earth to expose the perpetrator


	14. A glimmer of light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Juno struggle to connect and matters between them remain uncertain. Meanwhile, things become a little clearer in other areas.

Later that evening, in Spock and Juno's quarters, there was another attempt to talk things over. They had been avoiding each other during the ship's days. Spock spent most of his time on the bridge or with McCoy in the antibody lab, while Juno and Uhura closeted themselves in the communications lab.

For the last few nights Juno had already been asleep when Spock came in. Tonight he was simply too tired to work late.

"I am told that you spoke of separation," Juno said softly. Her voice was calm but Spock heard the strain. He knew it was because of him and he hated himself for that.

She sat on the bed. He stayed close to the far wall, putting the maximum amount of distance between them. "You do not deserve someone like me. Base, crude -"

"Crude, Spock? You? It's unimaginable. You are the most refined person I know. You're being illogical. I know you were not yourself. You could never do such things to anybody. It wasn't you!" she insisted.

The Vulcan shook his head. "How can you look at me and not feel revulsion, Juno?"

"Because I'm human, Spock, and I know there are many shades of grey in between the black and white. I don't work with absolutes and this is not an either-or situation. You're Vulcan, but you're also human. Can you not defer to your human side for once?"

"How will that help matters?"

Juno's blue eyes flashed angrily. "Because I can at least try to reason it through - can you?"

He didn't reply.

"You once encouraged me to believe in myself, because you did. Now I'm asking you to do the same."

Silence.

"Spock, when last did you meditate?"

"I - have not been able to. My mind is still out of kilter from the effects of the music."

And the fact that you're sitting on a whole heap of remorse, Juno thought, and voiced her concern. "So meanwhile you're dragging the guilt and pain around with you."

"I will attend to it as soon as I can."

"Dammit, Spock!"

Her frustration overwhelmed him. Abruptly he turned and walked out, leaving Juno to fume alone. He slept that night on the couch in his office, which was not the best choice as it inevitably reminded him of the pleasurable hours they had spent cuddling there during the early days. But he had nowhere else to go.

He had shared a bed with the captain several times while on missions, but Jim should not be disturbed any further on his account. For a moment he felt desperate enough to ask Doctor McCoy for a bed. No, he told himself. That was a selfish thought. He was not ill and there might be someone who needed the bed more. Both would gladly have assisted, had Spock but known it.

So he threw himself down on the couch and practiced his deep breathing. He was keenly feeling the absence of meditation in his day-to-day life. Breathing exercises were only effective in the short term.

But they did help and he did eventually managed to sleep.   


Despite the upheaval, there was considerable progress on both major projects. The two women had identified three of the four deadly sequences and were close to completing the last one. When they broke the news to Spock he had commended them for their achievement. His eyes, however, could not match the effort.

It was obvious to Uhura that Juno was hiding something. Her blue eyes, normally vivid and bright, were as bleak as her partner's and her manner was oddly subdued. Whatever had happened, both were severely affected.

Uhura could do nothing but support them by pretending she didn't notice their pain. If they wanted her to know, she kept telling herself, they would say something. The fact that they didn't could only mean that it was bad.

And despite, or perhaps because of the fondly antagonistic relationship of the two in charge of the project, work in the antibody lab had also progressed quickly, mainly because of the long hours Spock was spending there. He and McCoy, for all that they continually sniped at and baited each other, had always worked remarkably fluidly together and the combination of their scientific and medical minds had made short work of the steps that needed to be taken.

Such short work, in fact, that Spock's part in the project was over soon after he came under the effects of the damaged sonic filter. They were now in the production phase, ably supervised by McCoy, since that fell mainly under his purview.

That was probably a good thing, the doctor thought. Not that Spock would allow the quality of his work to suffer even for such a devastating personal trial, but it was one less matter for him to handle and the energy could be diverted to his healing process - if that green-blooded fool would care about himself a little more. 

  
  
The next day, Uhura presented Spock with the promised results of the DNA analysis. As expected, there was evidence of organic traces belonging to her, Spock and Juno. There was, in fact, an unknown trace as well.

"Has it been identified?"

"No, sir. Maxwell says there was very little of it and that the person was possibly wearing skin protection. There was some degree of fragmentation. He's going to do something he called polim- polly-"

Spock nodded and the corner of one side of his mouth twitched slightly. "Polymerase chain reaction."

Uhura smiled with relief. "Yes, sir."

"It's a complex procedure but it gives reliable results for small or degraded organic samples. How did Maxwell store the filter prior to analysis?"

"He put it into a cryogenic chamber, sir."

To her astonishment Spock leaped up and raced out of the door. She wasn't sure whether to wait or leave, so she stayed. Looking around, she saw the blanket and pillows on the couch and surmised that he'd slept here in his office. That was a worrying sign.

Spock returned a short while later with the filter, secured in a small vacuum container.

"I beg your pardon, Lieutenant. It was a matter of urgency that I retrieve this -" he held up the container, "before the sample degrades further. Environmental exposure is the most common cause of degradation of DNA and Mr Maxwell should have known this. Unless -"

"Sir?"

"Thank you, Lieutenant, that will be all. You have helped me tremendously and now I must cogitate." 


	15. Like peeling an onion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are becoming clearer, but still make no sense.

"I have thought deeply about Lieutenant Maxwell's error, and the conclusion I repeatedly come to is that it was no error."

Spock and Kirk were discussing the developments of the day over dinner in the captain's quarters, where they were unlikely to be overheard.

"You mean, he deliberately tried to destroy evidence?"

Spock held his friend's gaze. "That is the inescapable conclusion, Jim. Maxwell is a highly competent scientist who could not possibly be unaware of the degradation of biological material in extreme environmental conditions."

Kirk hit the intercom button without further hesitation. "Kirk to Scott."

"Scott here," the chief engineer replied.

"Scotty, please find and apprehend Lieutenant Maxwell. I want to talk to him."

"I canna, sir. He beamed down to Shadory about an hour ago. Said he wanted ta speak wi' Doctor McCoy about somethin'."

The two friends looked at each other. "Thank you, Scotty. If I need your help please be ready."

"Aye, sir."

The crockery on the desk jumped as Kirk thumped his fist down. "I think we can safely say he knows we're on to him."

"Undoubtedly. And I think we can also say with a reasonable amount of confidence that if we run the PCR test we will discover Mr Maxwell's own biological material was on the filter."

“Of course, he had to perform the test because you would have insisted on seeing the results. The only way out was to destroy his DNA. And then make a run for it.”

Spock rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He looked exhausted, the captain thought worriedly. “Jim, I must commend Uhura’s work in this matter. Biological sciences are not her area of expertise, but she has been of great help to me.”

Kirk smiled at Spock with undisguised affection. “Noted. Thank you, Spock, that’s generous of you.”

“It is deserved.”

"I'm struggling to understand why Maxwell would do this. "

"As am I." The Vulcan pressed his fingertips together, frowning. "I will only know for sure once I interrogate him, but it must be something personal."

"Something personal that nearly got you killed. You and Juno."

They were silent for several minutes. Then Kirk cleared his throat and Spock knew he was going to talk about sensitive matters.

"Spock, about you and Juno."

Spock said nothing, but he was listening intently.

"Now that we're getting somewhere, I urge you to stop ignoring the matter in the hopes that it'll go away. Uh uh!" He held up a finger, forestalling Spock's protest. "You're doing exactly that and you know it."

Spock lapsed into brooding silence.

"Take some shore leave, just the two of you," Kirk said, using his most persuasive tone. "You've both done your duty for this assignment and we can spare you for a few days. When you come back we'll deal with Maxwell."

The silence from the other side of the desk persisted.

Kirk resisted the urge to clap his hand to his forehead and groan in frustration. "Now Spock, I can't bear to see you both so hurt. I know beyond a doubt that you have a loving, resilient relationship -"

"Had."

The captain jumped to his feet, eyes flashing fire. "Don't interrupt me, Mr Spock! You have a loving, resilient relationship that's founded on friendship and respect. You can get past this. You just have to want to."

The Vulcan remained silent. He stared at his hands, clasped together so tightly that the finely shaped bones stood out whitely. The silence stretched into minutes, but Kirk bit his lip, determined not to force the issue. Spock would respond when he was ready.

Then he looked up at Kirk in that way he did, without lifting his head. "I do. But what if she does not wish to?"

Kirk's heart went out to his friend. Never had he heard Spock sound so unsure of himself. He decided that a white lie would do no harm in this case. "I've... mentioned the idea to her. I'm sorry, Spock. You probably think I'm interfering."

"No, Jim. I appreciate your concern and I value your friendship." He hesitated. "What did she say?"

Kirk smiled encouragingly. "She said exactly what you did. 'What if he doesn't want to?' I think you can assume she's interested."   


The captain then popped in to see Juno in the quarters she shared with Spock. "Well, I've got him interested in taking some shore leave with you, and getting away from the scene, as it were. Every minute of every day he's reminded of it, and it's doing him no good. I had to tell a white lie, mind you, so if he mentions anything please indicate that you were interested in the idea when I first suggested it to you."

"Thank you, Captain."

The captain gave her a warm, earnest look. "My best friend is in love with you. I think you can call me Jim when we're off duty."

"All right, Jim." 

"What he did to you has broken him."

"What his mindless body did."

"Touché. The problem with Spock," Kirk said, clasping his hands behind his back and beginning a slow excursion around the room, "is that he believes he should have been able to mentally overcome the impulse to hurt you. The fact that he didn't must mean, in his view, that either he's lacking somehow as a Vulcan or deep down, it was something he wanted to do. Remember Vulcans have a violent history. I believe they all fear that some of that savagery still lives in them, and Spock is no different."

"This was a weapon he'd never encountered. How could he have fought it?"

"Well, yes, exactly. Also remember that his whole life has been a struggle between his two halves. He's half human by parentage but all Vulcan by choice. The one thing he's always dreaded is that his human half would somehow subvert the Vulcan half and make him less than he thinks he should be."

"What utter bullshit!" Kirk smiled at her impassioned outburst. Yes, this one was worthy of his best friend's love. "He's not less of anything because of his parentage. He's far more than the contribution from either lineage."

"You took the words out of my mouth."

Juno was still ranting. "Vulcans! Too proud for their own good!" She threw her hands up in despair.

Kirk took her firmly by the shoulders. "Calm down. I have a surprise in mind for Spock, and I'll need your help with it planetside." 


	16. Rebuilding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno and Spock start their shore leave on a cautious but positive note.

Spock and Juno beamed down to one of the secluded resorts on the south coast. Nobody knew where they had gone to apart from Kirk and McCoy, who had spent a long time in the latter's office choosing a place that was quiet, safe, and not likely to be in danger of infection from the epidemic. They had given the pair strict instructions to take their time, because their respective tasks on the ship had been completed.

Kirk sent them down himself, with McCoy standing by. Few words were exchanged. Juno hugged the two men while Spock pretended to examine the transporter room ceiling, looking pained. He ignored everyone.

It was hot and humid at the resort. As McCoy had pointed out, this was the rainy season and the vegetation had exploded into verdant life. Vines bearing neon-coloured flowers tangled with tall palms, ground covers and soft grass grew between the paving stones, and everywhere there was a humming from insects hiding in the foliage.

Spock and Juno found the situation quite awkward at first. But the eye-catching scenery and the crystal-clear lavender-tinted waters were enough to capture their mutual interest and they chatted amiably as they checked in and were shown to their suite.

Kirk and McCoy had cunningly organised one luxurious unit containing an emperor-sized bed and fitted with all sorts of luxuries, such as a bathroom finished in Shadory's rare native purple cryntanite rock, hand-made decorative fabric on bed and furniture, streaming news and entertainment services from every planet in the sector, and its own food replicator as well as traditional kitchen accoutrements.

The suite also had a sitting room, and doors from both it and the bedroom led onto a private patio. The suite overlooked the sea and dense vegetation around it screened it from onlookers on the side. Although the resort was vast, with numerous bars, restaurants, shops and amusement facilities, their unit, like all the suites, was completely private, and very peaceful.

Spock was particularly impressed with the clear domed ceiling above the bed. It could open and close from the centre, in the manner of a mini-observatory, via a control panel next to the bed. If there was a topic guaranteed to pique his interest and satisfy his intellect, it was anything astronomy-related. Kirk and McCoy knew this, so it could be no accident that they were in the Celestial Suite. A smile flickered across his face, and vanished just as quickly.

"So, here we are, Commander," Juno said, turning in a circle with her arms spread wide. "What do you want to do?"

"I suggest we rest, then go out and see what is available for dinner."

She walked over to him. Seeing him tense at her approach, she veered off and made an excuse of going to the bathroom.

Spock cursed himself. She had clearly indicated her interest in being closer to him, perhaps even seeking physical contact, and he had caused her to change her plan.

He was ready for her when she emerged. Catching hold of her hand, he waited for the pulling back, the recoiling from his touch, but it never came. Encouraged, he drew her closer, and she didn't resist.

"Please be patient with me, Juno." He had not used the Vulcan endearment _ashayam_ \- beloved - for many days. "I do want to help repair the damage wrought to our relationship, but -"

"But you're a stubborn Vulcan," Juno said softly. She cupped his cheek and he pressed his face into her hand. "And you have to do things the hard way. We could both have benefited from counselling, Spock, if you'd only considered it."

"You are within your rights to berate me," he murmured, lowering his long eyelashes in renewed shame.

Juno's heart sank. That wasn't her intention. Were the two of them going to have to tiptoe around each other from now on, too afraid to say what they feel in case the other one took offence or misinterpreted their words?

Kirk, who had known Spock far longer than she had, had provided the way forward with his astute analysis of his friend's struggle. There would be no tiptoeing. No, the way to deal with this was to robustly challenge his self-doubt with affirmations and encouragement.

"I'm not berating you, love. I just - if only you knew how hard it was for me to see you in pain and not allowing anyone to help. I've been wanting to just hold you in my arms for so long."

She placed her hands on his chest, and slid them up to rest on the sides of his neck. Her thumbs stroked his jaw on either side. Determined blue eyes held his gaze. Spock knew an overture when he saw one, and he gallantly rose to the occasion. His arms fastened around her waist, pulling her body against his, and he nuzzled into the angle of her neck and shoulder. He felt her let out the breath that she'd been holding. It was only then that he realised he too had been holding his breath.

Her lemon and patchouli fragrance, as always, was a treat for his senses. "This is agreeable."

Juno's fingers came to rest at the back of his neck, stroking the ruler-straight bottom edge of his shiny hair. "Yes, Spock. One small step at a time, and suddenly we'll find that we've climbed a mountain."

They stood like that for some minutes, soaking up each other's feel and smell and warmth. Nothing more was required right now other than that they get comfortable being physically close.

"Come rest with me," Juno said. She turned and dived onto the plush bed, burrowing into the soft fluffy bedclothes, squealing in delight.

After a moment Spock followed her, more sedately and a little warily. 

They rose in the evening, when the sun was dipping towards the horizon and wispy clouds were painted in bands of yellow, purple and green. Flocks of birds swooped and soared in the cooler air, calling raucously to each other or squabbling over small flying insects.

The patio door was open and so was the ceiling dome. The result was a pleasant flow of air through the room.

They had spent a relaxing afternoon napping, sometimes in each other's arms, sometimes snuggled up in front or behind. Clothes had been removed at regular intervals, as their body heat combined. The important thing was that neither felt any pressure to do more.

But Juno sensed Spock getting restless. It was not his habit to spend time so unproductively - although it depended on one's definition of unproductive. Juno thought the afternoon had been enormously productive.

"Shall we step out for a while?" Spock said in a muffled voice.

He was somewhat restless but in truth, he was also extremely comfortable. He had been so tired lately, in body and soul, and it was very pleasant to lie here with Juno pressed against his back, her hand resting over his heart as was her preferred habit. He felt a stirring deep in his belly, but ignored it. It was too soon for such endeavours. There would be enough time in the few days ahead.

Juno apparently was having the same thoughts of staying right where she was. "Or we could order some food to the room. You're so warm, and I'm so comfortable."

Spock opened their mind link for the first time in days.

"Oh!"

He had indicated that he too was in a position of great comfort, and he wished her to feel what he felt.

"I will leave it to you to arrange our repast."

An hour later they were on their private patio, reclining in well-padded lounge chairs. Soft wall-mounted lighting cast a warm glow over the scene. On the table, numerous depleted platters were evidence of a voracious attack by the hungry pair. Juno had ordered a combination of vegetarian and normal food, and Spock, who had barely eaten for days, had rediscovered his appetite. He had tucked in with such relish, sampling this and nibbling that, that Juno felt warm and fuzzy with love for him. So far, so good.

But there was still a long way to go.

Finally replete, Spock had moved away from the food and lowered his lanky frame into a recliner. Now, with a glass of plomeek-flavoured mineral water in hand, he was observing the heavens, and Juno could almost hear the calculations and identifications happening in his head.

"Can we see the ship from here?" she asked.

Spock shook his head. "We are stationed in a geosynchronous orbit on the other side of the continent, above the capital city. The ship had to divert slightly to get us within beaming range of this place. Then it returned to its station, so we won't see it overhead."

"They did that for us?"

He nodded. "Jim was most insistent that the Shadory Space Authority allow the manoeuvre."

And when the captain was insistent, Juno thought, he very often got his way.

Spock returned to his stellar observation. Presently he held out his hand, the index and middle fingers extended in the special Vulcan kiss. When Juno touched the same fingers on her hand to his, a genuine smile of affection lit up his face, and she was thrilled to see his precious dimple making a welcome appearance.

The night was warm, with a breeze just strong enough to keep them cool soughing through the vegetation. The sound of waves crashing onto the nearby beach was particularly soothing, and the stars twinkled down on them, and it wasn't long before they had both drifted off to sleep.


	17. Danger looms in the distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk gets some news that could pose a danger to the away couple.

While it had been Kirk's idea to send Juno and Spock on shore leave, he was so anxious about how things were going that he could scarcely sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time.

In desperation McCoy went walking with him through the corridors after alpha shift.

"What do you think is going on planetside, Bones?" Kirk asked for the fourth time.

"Well, Jim, there's a war and an epidemic and all -"

"No, Bones. I mean with our friends."

"We'll have to wait until we see them again, or hear from them. I have absolutely no idea how things might or might not be going."

"Mm."

"You need to relax, Jim. They've only been there for an afternoon. No sense in getting all het up over this. You know as well as I do that we specifically told them to stay out of touch."

"I know, but -"

"Captain!"

They turned as a young ensign came running up.

"Yes, Ensign Davies?"

"Sir, you asked to be alerted if the fighting changes direction. We've been monitoring their movements and a branch of the rebel forces have broken off, heading in a southerly direction for the other side of the continent. There's no fighting where they're headed for, so we suspect they may have a secret base there and are going back for supplies."

He handed Kirk a data tablet with a schematic of the troop movements.

"Thank you, Ensign."

Kirk studied the screen, and swore.

"Jim! What's wrong?"

The captain had gone as white as an Andorian's hair. "Bones, if the rebels continue on this trajectory they will pass very close to where Spock and Juno are."

McCoy frowned. "Damn! Can we get them back?"

"Not without making another fuss with Shadory Space Authority, and I somehow doubt they'll give in to us a second time. Or they'll make us wait until it might be too late."

"Can we at least warn them? Or send a shuttlecraft to collect them?"

"Yes, we can get through to the resort and let them know. Fuck it, I'd prefer not to have to."

"Do we have any leeway?"

Kirk studied the schematic, which was updating on a live basis. The consummate strategist, he quickly calculated the speed of the troop movement, the direction and the probable destination. "I think we can give them another three days."

He thought that might be cutting it fine, but he had made the call and he would stick to it. 


	18. Overcoming the demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno and Spock sit down to talk it out, but Vulcan stubbornness doesn't help.

The next morning Spock and Juno got down to the business of talking through their problems. That was the reason they were here now, on this peaceful strip of land, surrounded by people they knew were there but couldn't see because of the lush foliage and the private nature of the suites.

After breakfast, with the sun still low in the sky and the morning air fresh and cool, they took positions on either side of the patio table and waited for the other one to say something.

Juno noted that Spock's body language was again tense and remote. He was staring out to sea, looking as though he would rather be anywhere else. She knew it was because he was uncomfortable discussing matters of the heart, and she sighed inwardly, hoping the developments of the previous afternoon and evening weren't in vain. She tried to make her own body language loose and warm, encouraging him to in turn unbend and open up.

He wasn't going to make it easy, that much was certain.

"May I ask you something?"

"You may."

Oh God. That tone. So closed off and defensive.

"Please will you relax?"

"I am relaxed."

Juno fought the temptation to roll her eyes, _à la_ exasperated Spock. She got up and walked around the back of his chair. He followed her with his eyes until she disappeared from his peripheral vision.

Placing her hands on his shoulders, she dug her fingers gently into his muscles. He stiffened, inhaling through gritted teeth.

"Is it painful?"

"Somewhat."

"That means you're tense. Will you let me do something about that?"

"Very well."

She started by rubbing her thumbs over the trapezius muscles that ran down the back of his neck. They were as tight as drums, and she knew her manipulations were painful by the wriggling and flinching and wincing. But within five minutes he was tilting his head from side to side, stretching the other tight cervical muscles and letting his head flop forward for her to reach the tender trigger points at the base of his skull. 

At least he really was more relaxed now. She bent forward and kissed the tip of one sharply pointed ear, ever so gently. A sense of capitulation flowed from him through the link.

"Better?"

"Yes, thank you."

She resumed her seat on the opposite side, and looked at him. This time he did meet her gaze. "Will you share with me your thoughts on the way forward?"

Spock took his time in preparing an answer. As Kirk had done some days before, now Juno waited patiently for him to respond. She knew he would do so when he was ready.

"If I stay with you I will be a constant reminder to you of what I have done." He gathered himself for the next part. "But if I leave you I will break your heart, and probably mine too. I see no easy way out."

"I'm not looking for an easy way out, love. I'm looking for a way to convince you that our relationship is worth fighting for. I believe it is, but it needs both of us to fight for it."

He sighed deeply.

"Are you so sure that those are our only options?"

He didn't answer.

She leaned forward and grasped his wrist. He tried to pull away. Juno was having none of it. "Don't run from me again, Spock." She used no force other than that of her voice, yet Spock had no choice but to obey.

Her hold on his wrist didn't slacken, although he could have pulled himself free with ease, and he began to tremble with the effort of sitting still.

"Remember once I told you that I don't do flowery speech very well?"

He nodded.

"Well, I'm going to try now to do exactly that. There's no other way to let you know how much I love you and want you."

"Want me?" His eyes never left her face. "How can you still even wish to be with me sexually?"

His entire body was shivering now, despite the growing heat of the day.

"Let me explain. When I first met you it seemed impossible that we could ever be together." She gave a quiet chuckle. "You were the Commander Spock and you terrified me and challenged me. Also, as you know, we argued a lot."

Spock's chocolate brown eyes softened at the memory of their now legendary altercations. The highly entertained crew had lapped them up, even organising a betting pool for the one who would lose their temper first. That had been Juno.

"But as I got to know you better I saw you for who you really are, love - a gentle, caring, honourable - yes, honourable man who is devoted to the important people in your life, and deeply committed to your work. A noble soul, in the truest sense."

Her fingers played across his inner wrist. "You would never and could never deliberately hurt anyone, because you are as beautiful inside as you are outside. Our mind link will show you the reality of how I look at you. Do you have the courage to see yourself through my eyes?"

It took only a moment for him to comply. What he saw made his heart ache with love. In all his life he had never felt so humbled and yet so proud. Did he really shine like that for her?

A part of his mind tried to convince him that he didn't deserve such high regard. He wasn't sure whether it was a logical or illogical notion, and that too was a result of his inability to meditate.

Juno persisted. "I will not reject you, Spock. I want you by my side."

Still he said nothing. And now he did pull away from her, stubbornly, implacably strong, and moved to the edge of the patio, where he resumed staring out at the ocean.

Juno stood up and stamped her foot in frustration. "Oh, you idiot. What do I have to do to convince you?"

She went to him, pulled his unresisting head to hers, closed her eyes and kissed him. Not even a kiss, just a fleeting brush of her mouth over his. Tears seeped from under her lids as she did it again, a little harder, in an echo of the very first time Spock had kissed her. She knew he would remember. With an almost inaudible sob she nipped lightly on his bottom lip and he sucked in a shaky breath involuntarily.

They stood like that, eyes closed, lips almost touching but not quite, for what seemed like forever. The heat from their bodies mingled in the space between them. Juno felt strong hands cupping her cheeks and thumbs gently exploring her face, wiping away the tears.

"I am waiting for you to carry out the last part," he whispered against her mouth.

As he had done that first time some months before, but with a fraction of the confidence he had shown, she pressed her lips to his and achingly slowly ran her tongue along the seam of his mouth. The warm lips opened for her without hesitation and a hot Vulcan tongue nudged hers.

The kiss was slow and tender, taking time to gather pace. It had been just days since they had tasted each other, but it had been too long. The world spun about them, unseen and ignored. All that mattered was the bubble of love that enclosed them.

But eventually they had to separate to breathe.

"I love you." Juno met his piercing dark gaze with complete honesty, and she backed up her words through the link. "Do you not think I know my own mind in this?"

With that, the last piece of his resistance crumbled. Spock's arms clamped around her and held her as though their lives depended on it.

"I've missed you, _ashayam_."

"I was here all along, darling. It was you who pulled away."

"I have returned."

Uncertainty as to the next step brought back some of the awkwardness between them. Inwardly blessing Kirk and his thoughtfulness, Juno now revealed the surprise the captain had planned.

"Jim organised something special for you."

Spock's eyebrow rose at her use of the captain's first name, but he decided it was fitting. They had clearly been conspiring. 


	19. Date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim has organised a treat for Spock and Juno.

"This resort has a very popular undersea restaurant. It's one of the reasons, so I'm told, that the doctor and captain chose it. The place is usually booked up months in advance but they've got us a table."

Spock's eyebrow rose in subdued excitement. "I have heard of it, though I did not connect it with this venue. There is a remarkable view of a nearby active marine volcano, which I would be very interested in seeing."

"I knew you would, love. Our reservation is for this evening. In the meantime, is there anything you'd particularly like to do?"

"Let us walk along the beach."

They spent the rest of the morning following the curve of the bay, cooling their feet in the shallow waves. Spock, the avid botanist, found great enjoyment in examining and exploring the many colourful stands and thickets of exotic vegetation. Naturally he had brought his tricorder despite Kirk's admonition that they step away from their work completely, and Juno didn't have the heart to take it away from him. He wasn't used to long periods of doing nothing but purely leisure activities. Eventually, she hoped, she would help him see the logic of lazy days.

The numerous rock pools and other marine habitats were also a Vulcan magnet. Spock, enthusiastically clambering down rocks and slithering over chunks of washed-up seaweed, was particularly captivated by the variety of sea cucumber known as Pink Death, named because when disturbed it broke up into a cloud of pink particles. The name referred to its own demise. The first time it happened, when Spock inadvertently caused the animal he'd carefully picked up to literally disintegrate in his hands, he looked up at Juno, wide-eyed, distraught at the death of that seemingly insignificant creature. Her heart squeezed with love for him. For that was Spock - a man who revered all forms of life and mourned at their senseless loss. He touched no more sea cucumbers.

And he looked so cute in his casual clothes, t-shirt with calf-length loose trousers rolled up to his knees, a hat on his head to prevent sunstroke.

Around mid-afternoon when it got too hot for even Spock, a native of a hot planet, to be outside, they retired to their suite for lunch and spent the afternoon reading or, in Spock's case, examining the data he'd gathered during the beach foray. He looked relaxed and happy, Juno thought.

She, too, was feeling more comfortable with him than she had for some time. The awkwardness and trepidation was fast disappearing in the simple joy of spending unhurried time with him. The biggest challenge of all still lay ahead, but there was progress. They were getting there. There was a sense of positivity and optimism that had been absent for too long.

Later they dressed for their undersea restaurant reservation. Juno, who had been primed for the event, had brought a light dress, but nothing fancy. It would have been unfair to Spock, who was not warned in advance.

She slipped the dress over her head and pulled her hair free, letting the dark curls cascade down her back. A light touch of makeup was all she wanted, and a spritz of fragrance, and she was ready.

She turned to see Spock coming out of the bathroom. "Oh wow!"

"I am afraid I didn't bring suitable attire for a dinner outing with you, _ashayam_."

He was wearing black slim-fitting trousers and a loose black tunic. The first time Juno had ever seen him in casual clothes, he was wearing black and she had been struck by how spectacularly that colour emphasised his unusual good looks. Tonight, she thought, he was drop dead gorgeous.

"You look absolutely perfect, Commander. Very, very handsome. Any woman would be proud to have you by her side."

A green blush seeped into his cheeks and his dimple showed itself in a shy smile.

"Thank you, my cherished one. I, however, desire only one woman, and I will be proud to escort her."

The dimple deepened as he sent his admiration for her pleasing appearance through the mind link.

Juno felt like turning cartwheels. They were going on a date! 


	20. Volcanic activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night ends well, but there's more to do.

The submersible ride down to the restaurant was quick, a little turbulent, and exciting. Situated on the edge of an undersea shelf at a depth of 250 metres, the restaurant, with its vast expanse of clear reinforced windows, did indeed offer a spectacular view not only of a wide variety of sea creatures and plants, but also of the volcano in the distance. More like a vent in the planet's crust, it was surrounded by hazy lavender water, rippling with the extreme heat that leaked from the fissure and glowing with the fires that burned unceasingly below.

"Fascinating."

Of course it was. The scientist in Spock never rested, never stopped wondering, never ceased wanting to learn. That great mind was infinitely porous, always soaking up information about the worlds around it. He was an intellectual phenomenon.

"The presence of this vent could indicate that we are near an area of tectonic plate movement or formation."

"Is that bad?"

Spock showed a hint of dimple. "Under certain circumstances, very much so. However, the fact that this establishment is still here, some years after it was built, is encouraging."

That dry sense of humour. It was as if Juno was learning all these things about her lover for the first time. He delighted her at every turn.

And she wasn't sure whether it was the effect of the location, the atmosphere, or the company - or all three - but Spock had been eyeing her since they sat down. She looked up from her meal several times to catch his gaze fixed on her. Where another person might have quickly looked away, Spock locked eyes with her with an intensity that first unnerved her, then intrigued her. His eyes were dark and luminous, and she felt that they could pull her in until she was lost in them forever.

The anticipation between them intensified during the evening, aided by finger touches, wandering feet under the table, and the mind link alive with activity. Even the volcano played along, unexpectedly belching a dense cloud of white particulate matter that glowed a dull red near the bottom. Other patrons gasped.

"A white smoker," Spock informed her sagely.

They saw the sand, plants and loose matter outside shift under the shock wave, but inside there was no movement or sound. The restaurant was completely insulated and shock-proofed. A screen on one wall provided a close look at the eruption and a reading of its intensity, obtained from a sensor apparently located near the volcano, and Spock nodded, impressed that such powerful natural forces were dampened so completely.

The suddenness of the seismic event gave Juno an excuse to clutch his arm and huddle close to him, as if he were there to protect her. He obligingly put an arm around her shoulders as if she needed protection, and discreetly nipped the top of her ear.

_Ashayam_

Through the mind link she felt his desire. It pleased and excited her, but she was nervous, too. This would be a significant test of her resolve and courage. Spock sensed this and understood.

_I expect only that which you are able to give_

His words were the echo of hers to him, at the time when their love for each other had been revealed.

The walk back to their suite took only a few minutes. During that time they managed to hold hands, steal a breathless kiss against a wall away from the light, trip over a cat (Juno) and be deftly caught by Spock, and bump one's head on a low-hanging branch while regaining balance (Spock).

He mentally filed the incident away to later extract a neck rub from Juno.

The sky was ablaze with stars. It looked like some huge celestial being had randomly thrown a handful of sparkling gems of all colours and sizes across a piece of black velvet.

Spock came to stand beside Juno on the patio.

"I do not believe any of those stars could light my life as you do."

He spoke shyly, but sincerely. Overwhelmed with love, Juno could only express through the mind link how much the words meant to her. They were so unexpected, and so beautiful. She crept into his arms and snuggled against the firmness of his chest, pressing her face to his neck.

"You are such a smooth talker, Commander."

He didn't answer, but the fire that had smouldered in his eyes the entire evening blazed up and he kissed her until she felt her own personal volcano burning between her legs, and he was pushing a hard cock against her hip, breathing heavily in her ear.

Juno wanted him, so very much - but she couldn't stop the gnawing little bug of fear in the back of her mind. Spock, despite his obvious need for her, was gentle and sweet, sending encouragement through the mind link and so, steeling herself, she allowed him to seduce her.

They made it to the bed, shedding clothes along the way.

Internally, the unhurried pace was causing Spock to have a little trouble with his own desires. They resisted his Vulcan efforts to keep them under control. For Juno's sake he held himself in check with ruthless determination, knowing that the slightest hint of his struggle for control would frighten her, perhaps chase her away forever. She must not know how much he wanted to just let go.

None of this came through the mind link. All Juno was aware of was that he wished her needs to take precedence.

So he lay on his back passively, and let her set the tone and play with his body just as she wished. But he was trembling noticeably. His cock, lying stiffly on his stomach, suddenly twitched and leaked a few drops of thick, pearly pale green fluid. She bent her head and licked it up. Spock groaned, gripping two handfuls of sheet.

"Aah, Juno... please... "

He would do it her way but it wouldn't stop him from begging her to hurry.

Although she wanted him as much, the terror of that experience was with her again and the only thing giving her courage to continue was his patience and understanding and love.

In this way they supported each other through the hurdle that lay ahead.

She lifted his erection and positioned it below her. Then, agonisingly slowly, as Spock trembled and watched, she sank down onto it, and began to cry.

He sat up at once and took her into his arms. "Brave one, my brave Juno. It is well. The hardest part is over." For he understood the enormous difficulty of what she had just accomplished, after the last time he had been inside her. It was something that she had to do for herself, and she had done it with courage.

She clung to him, burying her face against his neck, and sobbed with a violence that shook her body. For a moment he feared that she couldn't breathe. The gasps of air that she took between sobs could not possibly be enough to sustain her. Her tears trickled down his chest like raindrops.

Thanks to a discreet talk with Doctor McCoy before they left the ship, during which he had asked the CMO if there were any warning signs or adverse effects he should look out for, Spock had anticipated such a reaction to this exact situation and was mentally prepared and shielded. His own struggle was forgotten and he sent only calming thoughts and love through the mind link. 

Juno felt better after the release of emotion. She knew it wasn't that simple and she would need more counselling, but it was enough for now. The warmth of Spock's skin was indescribably comforting and she felt safe leaning against the strength of his body. His arms around her were her shield.

He was still hard inside her although neither had moved for a good five minutes. If they did nothing else tonight, if they sat like this until his erection faded and neither reached a climax, he would consider it progress on both their parts. This was a process that could not be rushed. He sensed her relief through the link.

He settled down again, on his back with Juno nestled on his chest, covered them with the lightweight sheet, and held her until she slept.

Only then did he sleep too. 


	21. Decisions, decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk frets over the rebel threat. Spock and Juno try again.

He woke up to a nibbling sensation on his ear. "I've missed these beautiful ears," Juno murmured, biting the point closest to her. Spock smiled, turning his head so the ear was more accessible. He made a low grunt of contentment as the wet tip of her tongue travelled down the elegant curve and didn't stop until it reached his mouth.

He parted his lips willingly for her and welcomed her tongue with his own. The kiss was punctuated with first sighs and then moans of pleasure. Hands were stroking, feeling, squeezing, rubbing, but when his fingers reached between her legs he felt her resistance immediately. At once he pulled back and simply allowed her to cuddle against him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Do not fret, my brave one. There's nothing to be sorry for. This is a process and we will take it step by step."

Her relief saddened him. There was also a little frustration on his part, but she sent love and gratitude through the mind link to appease him.

To lighten the moment he reminded her that she owed him a neck rub for causing him to bump his head.

Juno looked at him with narrowed eyes. "That happened last night, Spock."

"It did indeed, _ashayam_ , but there is some lingering pain."

"There was no pain five minutes ago."

"It returned suddenly." His dimple told her that he was teasing, but a neck rub would be most agreeable.

Chuckling, she turned him over and straddled his hips. He rested his head on his folded arms with a deep sigh of contentment, smiling under a deluge of tender nips and feathery kisses that rained over his shoulders before the anticipated neck rub got under way.

When she was done she pressed herself against his back and tucked her chin into the angle of his neck and shoulder, and they lay like that for some time. 

Meanwhile, on the ship Kirk had been monitoring the progress of the splinter rebel group with growing concern. He had been extremely reluctant to break into Spock's shore leave and had decided to do so only if there was no other option.

The group had been making their way south for the past two days, stopping overnight in camps and then resuming their trek in the morning.

They were heading directly away from the main area of fighting. It was looking more and more likely that they were heading for a secret supply base, but that wouldn't stop them from raiding everything they came across while on the road.

Kirk was torn. He was still hoping the rebels would give the resort a wide berth. The problem was that he'd known many rebels in his time, and one thing they all had in common was an endless need for resources. No self-respecting rebel band would pass up an opportunity to loot a luxury resort.

There was no chance of asking Shadory military forces to step in. That would be extremely inconsiderate, because they had told him in no uncertain terms that they could not spare any troops to assist the Enterprise.

No, Kirk thought glumly. They were on their own in this one.

Following the rebels' movements so closely had given Kirk a good idea of their speed, their average distance per day, and the distance they still had to travel. He decided that he would give it another 36 hours before he called down to Spock. That wasn't quite leaving it to the last minute.

And he had other crew members on the planet to worry about. With a hand-picked medical team and two security officers, Doctor McCoy had gone down to supervise the distribution of the vaccine. They had managed to infiltrate the worst-hit area with no problems and were now ensuring that everyone had access to the life-saving medication.

McCoy's last report, received two hours ago, sounded positive. The CMO estimated they would finish in that area by the end of the day. They would then require the ship to beam them to the next area.

Kirk needed to be ready to pull that team out at a moment's notice should it get too dangerous. He had communications and security personnel monitoring the situation around the clock.


	22. A disturbing find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Juno make an interesting discovery.

There was one more curiosity that Spock wanted to explore. This was a stone structure a little way up the coast, which he'd noticed jutting from the trees as he and Juno were checking in.

"It looks ancient," he said as they pulled on clothes and shoes. "I am curious to see if I can date it."

A road led in the desired direction. They walked along it, hand in hand, not talking, just sharing a quiet mutual enjoyment of the scenery and sounds of birds and animals.

They came to the stone edifice, rising out of the vegetation a few hundred metres away from the road. Here too there was a path which they followed through the undergrowth. It led them into a sun-dappled clearing which was dominated by the odd looking structure.

It was a cube-like building made from grey stone. The exterior was ornately carved with curved symbols and there was a kind of cupola on the top. It was about 30 metres high and wide on a side, with openings at the front and back.

"It looks like a temple or other ceremonial site," Juno said in a hushed voice.

There was nobody else there but the solemnity of the setting seemed to demand a subdued approach.

Inside, though, there were obvious signs of habitation. In many of the rooms there were bed rolls and boxes. In fact, there was an entire cache of food rations and, in a crate around the back of the structure and tucked under a tree, a motley collection of weapons.

"This is someone's stash," Juno realised.

"Yes," Spock mused. "It would seem so."

"Someone who's involved in the war, perhaps, judging by the strange collection of weaponry. But this is far out of the way of the combat."

"That may be the very reason for this location."

His tricorder hummed. "The building itself is around 500 years old, according to the style of decoration and the clear use of lasers to shatter and shape the stone."

He ran his fingers over the decorative symbols carved into the door frame. Their meaning, if there was one, escaped him. He was curious to know more, and made a mental note to assign someone from the archaeology department to study them.

Juno, meanwhile, had been looking around the ground floor. Spock heard her call his name and thinking she was in trouble, he hastened to her side.

"Look."

She'd found a box containing many small vials of a white powder. The box as well as each vial was prominently marked with the universal infectious symbol - three open circles joined at a common point, with a closed circle in the background. It had been in use since the 20th century and it was unmistakable.

"Spock. This is infectious material."

Spock examined one of the vials carefully. "It's the same organism, in dry form, for which we have developed an antibody."

They stared at each other, realisation dawning.

"Someone is deliberately spreading the epidemic. Oh love, all your work to develop that antibody... They'll never eradicate the disease as long as as there's a source that keeps it active."

"We have to get word to the ship."

"Spock!" Juno hissed, grabbing his arm. "I thought I heard noises in the bush!"

Spock quickly scanned in a circle around him. "No humanoid readings," he reported. "But perhaps it would be prudent to move away from here. First I will collect some more data for the captain, and we should take a sample of the material. The authorities must be alerted."

They made it back to the resort without incident. Spock immediately used the in-suite communicator to hail the Enterprise.

"Spock! Is everything all right?" The captain sounded worried.

"Juno and I are fine, Jim. But we have made a sinister discovery."

He quickly filled his friend in on the strange building with its disturbing contents. Kirk was heard to swear in at least two languages.

"I also have some news for you, Spock." He explained the situation with the rebels. 

"What do you wish to do?"

"I've been following their movements closely. There's no way they'll get to you in less than 30 hours, Spock. I suggest that you two enjoy another night and we'll send a shuttle down to fetch you at 12h00 tomorrow."

Spock was concerned but he trusted his captain absolutely and if Kirk said it was under control, he accepted that it was.

"Very well. And the epidemic?"

"I'm going to get hold of McCoy immediately and let him know. He's on the planet and he'll be able to share this information with the authorities. Good work, Spock."


	23. Slow but steady wins the race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock has to give in to his human side to finally release the guilt and pain.

Towards evening Juno was leaning against the patio railing, looking up at the lavender sky. Spock came up behind her, gently but audibly, deliberately bumping into a chair to alert her.

There were so many things to be conscious of, to not take for granted. McCoy had assured him there would come a time when normality would be restored. Until then they would both have to be patient, and considerate, and persistent.

She tensed very slightly and he felt a stab of pain in his heart, but keeping it to himself, he slid his arms around her waist and nuzzled the nape of her neck with infinite gentleness. He did no more than simply hold her, until she relaxed against him.

"It's a pretty colour, don't you think?"

It was possibly a stalling tactic but that was acceptable. Astrophysics and planet sciences were Spock's specialties, and anything to do with the heavens was a favourite subject. It was tempting to launch into a lengthy speech on the topic, but he kept it simple, explaining the characteristics of the various wavelengths of light and the way they were scattered in the atmosphere.

She leaned back against him and he kissed the side of her neck, then bit it lightly. He bit again lower down and sucked the mark, a sure sign that he was becoming aroused. Though she wanted him, Juno was nervous; she knew this was the make or break moment. Across the mind link, Spock felt her fear and he took pains to assuage it.

He didn't rush her. With careful thought to each movement, and support flowing through the mind link, he touched and stroked her with respect and love. Only when she began to sigh in pleasure did he dare to slip his warm hands under her dress and caress her bare skin. The soft round curve of her stomach was prime territory for kneading and squeezing. Experimentally he ran his fingers over a nipple and was delighted when it swelled at his touch and Juno leaned back into him. His telepathic senses told him she was comfortable with what he was doing.

He, on the other hand, was painfully hard, but patience was all important.

Both hands now cupped her breasts, those breasts that he loved so much, pinching and rubbing until the nipples were as stiff as beads. Juno slipped a hand behind her, between their bodies, and felt for his cock. Grunting, he pressed forward against her hand, and she gripped him hard.

Breathing heavily, Spock allowed some of his control to slip. Fingers slid their heated way down her body and tangled in her pubic hair. She turned to face him. There was excitement in her expression, and love and joy. But the next step required delicacy and he used every atom of it at his disposal as he spread her labia and, prepared for hesitance or resistance, worked one finger inside her. His other hand, on her back, steadied her.

She was still stroking him, moaning softly now. With a sudden giggle she slipped her fingers up the leg of his shorts and tickled his scrotum. A burst of mirth flowed across the mind link as he flinched away. He stopped short of chuckling but, as Juno was well aware, if there was ever a time the taciturn Commander Spock was likely to burst out laughing, it was when his balls were tickled. So this was her way of telling him she was having fun.

"Aah, Juno, you like to tease me," he grunted in her ear. "Here, this will distract you ..."

Another finger slid up into her and she squeaked in delight. A third finger got her moving on his hand, stimulating herself while his thumb pressed supremely gently against the side of her clit, wiggling it.

He probed the mind link for signs of distress. There were none.

Juno was whimpering in time to the movements of her hips. She was close to her first orgasm in many days. Her hands clutched his arms, gripping with surprising force. Flushed a rosy pink, her face reflected her enjoyment. Her mouth was open in a small ecstatic smile. Spock was entranced by her passion, and proud to be the one who could bring her to this stage, and beyond.

She came on his hand, gasping. He felt the contractions around his fluttering fingers and rejoiced for her. Her eyes were closed, her expression elated. Spock put a hand against the back of her neck and murmured words of praise and admiration, holding her to him until her breathing eased.

Her eyes, when she opened them, were radiant, glowing like sapphires. She ran a hand down his face and he covered it with his own, turning his head to kiss the palm.

"I didn't know how much I needed that."

" _Ashayam_ ," he whispered. "I wish to always provide for your need."

"You have needs too, darling." She began to ease his shorts down. "You have been so patient with me these past few days. Now it's your turn."

Spock's breathing was ragged by the time she exposed his hard and heavy shaft. When she wrapped her hand around it he made a harsh sound in his throat, part cry, part plea. He was sorely tempted to take her there, until she indicated through the link that she wanted him in bed.

By the time they got there the need was urgent and Spock was already feeling the stirrings of impending orgasm.

And when she guided him inside her his remaining control slipped from him like water from a smooth rock.

It was all going well until Juno yelped in pain.

"Spock, you're hurting me, your arm -"

Spock jerked up and pulled out of Juno so violently that his cock smacked up against his belly with a meaty thump. He crawled to the farthest edge of the bed and sat there, hunched over and shivering. "Forgive me," he said in a voice cracked with fresh pain.

Juno realised instantly what was in his mind. "No, Spock, no, love. I meant that your arm was on my hair, pulling it. Oh, Spock -"

He had covered his face with his hands. She moved to sit beside him. "Spock."

She took his hands and pulled them away. "Spock."

His eyes brimmed, and the desolation on his face was a knife in her heart. The lines around his mouth seemed carved from stone. This was his own suppressed trauma finally rearing its nasty head. Juno took him into her arms and poured all of her love, caring and acceptance into the mind link.

"Come, darling, you've been carrying that guilt around for too long. You've pushed it down but you haven't dealt with it. It's time to let go of the pain."

Spock had no choice. His Vulcan half had failed to address his feelings of shame and culpability. So at last he gave in to his human side. He buried his face between her breasts and wept. Always typically, discreetly Spock, he grieved with deep feeling, but without drama. His shaking shoulders and his quiet sobs were all the more heart-breaking because he tried so hard to hide them. His arms were locked around her in a band of steel.

Juno stroked the back of his neck soothingly. "I didn't mean to scare you, love. You didn't hurt me at all in the way you thought. I - it felt comforting and exciting to have you inside me again."

He muttered something inaudible, but she felt some of the tension start to bleed from him. Knowing he liked neck rubs and back rubs, Juno put diligent effort into using those techniques to help him relax.

"Let's get back into bed."

After some manoeuvring Spock was settled again with Juno in the crook of his arm. Her hand was resting over his heart and his was holding it tightly against him.

His desire had been quelled, for the moment, by the painful expenditure of emotion.

"Are we ever going to able to make love without some sort of disaster happening?" Juno thought.

_We will_ , came the reply through the mind link.

_In the morning_


	24. Whole, but not unscathed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno and Spock try yet again and finally get it right. Meanwhile, the danger to them increases suddenly.

And they did. An eager Spock, recovered from the fright of the night before, and a receptive Juno, impatient for him, woke up and instinctively reached for each other. Sleepily, lying on their sides facing each other, they murmured and nuzzled and kissed and stroked. Juno, with a leg over his hip, opened herself to him and he eased into her, and they were whole again, if not unscathed.

In hindsight, they both independently thought later, that was probably the best way to get going, without any thinking and worrying, and driven simply by sleepy love and need.

Spock took his time. This moment was hard won and he was in no hurry to finish, after the effort it had taken to get here.

He was unusually talkative, praising Juno and encouraging her as he established a relaxed rhythm and pace.

"Brave one, are you comfortable?"

Juno understood that this was so she would know beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was not the mute, indifferent Vulcan who had violated her. It was also a poignant remnant of his own trauma, that he had to prove this not just to her, but also to himself.

But he wouldn't stop talking.

"Am I thrusting too fast?"

"You will tell me if I am not pleasing you?"

Eventually she shut him up with a kiss and a crisp comment through the mind link.

_Spock_

_Juno?_

_I understand, darling. But you talk too much_

He got the message. It was usually only towards the end that he began to vocalise, and then mostly in Vulcan as his control melted away, and this chatter was out of character.

Biting her shoulder hard, which was much more typical, he then raised himself on his arms so he could look down at their joined bodies.

It was still a marvel to him that they fitted so well together. On one level he was fascinated to watch his slick, green-tinged penis gliding in and out of Juno; on another, more visceral level the eroticism of the sight heightened his arousal and pushed him closer to the precipice.

Juno, lying contentedly beneath him, delighted in his endless curiosity even in the midst of such intimacy. She wouldn't have it any other way. Spock was what he was, and this moment was for him and his needs.

At the same time she luxuriated in his weight pressing her into the fluffy depths of the bedclothes and his knobbly-textured penis scraping persistently against her inner flesh. Two opposing sensations that complemented each other magnificently.

"Spock... you feel amazing..."

She ran her hands up his arms and watched the play of expressions across his face. The wide-eyed wonder at and enjoyment of their coupling. The smile when he caught her watching him, then the drawing of the brows together as he felt the heat starting to spread in his loins. The green flush that bloomed over his cheeks. The glazing of the eyes in concentration for the final push.

But Spock had other ideas. Slowing his thrusting significantly, he dropped to his elbows to thread his arms under her shoulders and caress her forehead. His hips rocked in a steady, sensuous rhythm that was almost self-indulgent.

"I do not wish this to end so soon," he murmured, trapping her lower lip between his teeth and pulling gently on it.

He would never admit it out loud at least, but the physical expression of their love was balm for his soul in the way that meditation was. Juno understood, because that expression did the same for her.

_Yes, ashayam_

The only cloud over the joy of the moment was a fleeting recollection of... that time, which popped into Juno's mind without warning. Spock put a stop to it immediately, pushing love and respect through the mind link.

He pressed his warm, flushed cheek against hers, scratching her skin with his soft morning stubble. "Think of now," he whispered. "Think of this. Think of healing. " 

"I'm thinking of these magnificent ears." Juno turned her head to capture the elegant point that had just come within range. She sucked on it and flicked it with her tongue, and he gasped with the bliss of her warm mouth on him.

Spock tried hard to make it last. Eventually his control simply slipped away from him and he gave himself up to pleasure.

" _Taluhk nash-veh k'dular_ ," he crooned, as his thrusts grew harder and faster.

His excited panting turned into grunting, and then gasping. It was close, so close. Then there was no stopping the spasming of his internal muscles. The release was exquisite.

"I missed you..." he cried as he exploded deep inside her. " _Taluhk_! Ahh, _taluhk_..." 

As always, Spock was reluctant to withdraw from Juno's body. He lay on top of her, supporting himself on his elbows, for many minutes. The bite on her shoulder received special, rueful attention. "I regret hurting you like this," he said, rubbing his thumb over the mark.

"You haven't hurt me, love. You have claimed me and I'm happy to be claimed." 

"Keptin, there's been a change."

Ensign Pavel Chekov, the young Russian navigator and occasional stand-in for Spock, had been continuing to monitor the rebels' progress.

The expression of alarm on his boyish face brought Kirk to his side immediately.

"What's happening, Mr Chekov?"

"Zey're speeding up, sir. Perhaps zey stole some transportation, but at zis rate zey vill cut 8 hours off ze expected travel time. Mr Spock and Lieutenant Juno are in danger, sir."

"That's it," Kirk said. "I'm done with waiting. Uhura, please open a channel to The Tides holiday resort. Ask for the Celestial Suite."

The bridge crew, who knew that their first officer was on shore leave but thought it was merely because he was due for a break, turned as one to stare at the captain.

Nonplussed, Kirk spread his arms questioningly, looking around. "What?"

They turned back to their stations but not before he saw the grins on all faces.

"I know it's a cheesy name," he said, a little defensively, "but it's very romantic. It has its own sky viewing dome. And the resort has an undersea restaurant."

Kirk's comment had been aimed at entrenching the idea that Spock and Juno had simply taken a few days off for a quiet getaway. It worked - the grins widened. _Forgive me, Spock_ , he thought, knowing the crew would be fondly amused by the notion of their first officer stealing some private time with his partner - but perhaps that wasn't a bad thing.

"Captain," Uhura said, "there's no reply from the - Celestial Suite. It rings but nobody answers."

"Perhaps zey're out in ze vawter," muttered Chekov.

Kirk ignored the comment. "Keep trying intermittently, Lieutenant. It's vital that we reach Mr Spock."

* * *

_taluhk nash-veh k'dular -_ (Vulcan) I cherish thee (phrase)

_taluhk_ \- (Vulcan) precious; cherished one


	25. An unwelcome visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock gets busy in the kitchen. An unwelcome visitor shows up.

Spock, meanwhile, after recovering from his much-needed orgasm, had retreated to a corner of the bedroom and successfully slipped into a meditative state. He had managed just 15 minutes but already he could feel elements of his life shifting back into their proper places. He felt grounded at last, after being adrift for days.

Juno sat cross-legged on the bed and watched him sink into the calmness of his meditation. The mind link grew tranquil as he reached for peace, and found it.

It was a triumph. She was thrilled for him, and proud of him. It was equally important to her that Spock found his equilibrium again, because it was a crucial factor in the harmony of their relationship.

When he roused himself and joined her he looked like his old self again.

From her vantage point on the bed, Juno had been eyeing the bathroom, which was huge, a pleasing shade of purple, and contained a shower that one might have held an entire party in. This was an unheard-of luxury for a starship crew-member and she wondered how she might entice her lover, a native of a hot, dry planet and not the greatest fan of getting wet, to join her under the spray.

Aware that soon their lift would arrive to take them back to the Enterprise, she planned to make the most of the short time they had left. After all, there was still catching up to do.

"What do you feel like for breakfast, love?"

Spock inspected the kitchenette, thus far unexplored territory. "I wish to make breakfast for you, _taluhk_."

Immediately Juno saw the beginnings of a plan. Whether or not Spock was proficient in the ways of the kitchen or not, this was her chance.

"Thank you, darling. If we can get the replicator to give us the ingredients for pancakes, that will be amazing. Also, a jug of crimson babaco juice. It's wonderful in the morning, super healthy and energising."

Spock had heard of the blood-coloured fruit of the babaco tree, which grew abundantly on Risa. It was rumoured that its vivid red hue was used as a fabric dye by some cultures.

When the juice arrived he took a cautious sip. It was sweet and tangy at the same time. "Quite tasty."

Juno poured herself a large glass and settled back to watch Chef Spock in action. He proved surprisingly deft, mixing, flipping and serving with style, and she realised she should have known. Almost anything a human could do, Spock could do too. Often better. She imagined him as a child, spending time with his mother in the kitchen, helping her prepare their meals. Did Vulcan boys do that?

Caught up in her happy imaginings, she smiled to herself. Watching her, and sensing her thoughts through the mind link, Spock felt lighter in spirit than he had done for some time.

A little while later Juno made sure that she accidentally bumped into the counter, spilling the contents of her glass over her breasts and skin.

Spock immediately rushed to her side. Wiping the fruity red liquid with a towel proved ineffective, as it merely smeared the juice around further. He bent to lick the juice from her breasts, and was getting happily carried away when Juno put a hand under his chin and brought his head up.

"No, love. I want to jump in the shower quickly. This gets sticky as it dries." She ran her hand down his chest and over his stomach, to his penis which was showing signs of life. Then she sashayed into the bathroom, feeling his eyes on her all the way.

It was just as enjoyable as she had hoped, and she was careful to push her pleasure across the mind link and, hopefully, tempt Spock into joining her. She was loving the hot water cascading over her. For a while after she was clean she just stood under the torrent and indulged. 

The shower door slid open a little to admit a cap of shiny black hair sitting atop a pair of slender needle-shaped brows. Spock peeked dubiously into the steamy interior. He couldn't see Juno clearly, only her shapely form moving enticingly.

A hand emerged from the steam and fastened around his wrist. Pulling gently, it coaxed him into taking a few steps and then he was inside and soaking wet within seconds. Spluttering, he shook the water out of his eyes.

"I would not do this for anyone else," he informed her, although he was intrigued by the way their wet bodies slipped so smoothly against each other. There seemed to be a fragrant saponaceous coating on her skin, which encouraged his hands to slide all over and which was producing what he assumed was the desired effect within his own body.

Juno turned her back to him and shimmied her butt against his groin, grinding her hips in a circular motion. She was rewarded with a warm, wet body against her back and an inquisitive erection seeking entry.

The slipperiness was fun at first but Spock found himself struggling to hold on to Juno's hips and she, giggling helplessly, found herself sliding forward with every thrust from behind. Afterwards they both agreed that making love was better on dry land.

Although, Juno mused, the sight of a naked, wet Spock more than made up for the awkward experience. While he looked beautiful when every hair was immaculate and there was hardly a wrinkle to be seen on his uniform, he looked just as gorgeous when that glossy mop stuck up at various angles. He busily dried himself and pulled on the loose trousers and then, amazingly, he simply shook his now toweled-off hair and it fell obediently into place.

The two packed up the rest of their things in anticipation of their departure.

"Let us make some tea and sit outside for a while."

It was adorable to watch Spock in the kitchenette, carefully ensuring that each cup had the same volume of water, that the tea brewed for the optimum length of time, and the colour was not too dark.

They took their mugs out to the patio. Spock, naked from the waist up, stretched his arms over his head, enjoying the sun.

"Well, well, isn't this cosy?"

The voice was unpleasant, sneering and hostile - and familiar.

Startled, Juno dropped her mug and the hot tea splashed over her feet. It stung, and she yelped with the pain of it.

"What are you doing here?"

The former Lieutenant Maxwell detached himself from the wall against which he had been leaning. He had a phaser pointed at Juno. "It's set for wide range," he informed them, "so don't think about trying anything."


	26. Taking out the trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock uses a cunning tactic to take out Maxwell.

"Deserter."

Spock grabbed Juno's arm and pushed her behind him before she could rush at Maxwell and claw his eyes out, as the mind link had warned him.

"Bitch. Taking what should have been mine."

Spock was only able to control himself because of the recent session of meditation. Without it, that disrespectful comment would have driven him into a rage that might have been lethal for Maxwell.

Via the mind link he urged Juno to stay calm and resist her desire to inflict bodily harm on her former colleague.

"Why have you come looking for us, Mr Maxwell, and how did you ascertain our location?"

Maxwell laughed humourlessly. "You're the genius, haven't you figured it out yet? I'll give you a clue - it has to do with your tricorder."

"Ah." Spock realised immediately. "You planted a tracker on my tricorder when you gave me that scanner to check. I commend you for your foresight and ingenuity. But what if I had left it aboard?"

Pleased by the compliment, the man said jokingly, "You, go anywhere without it? Highly unlikely."

Juno privately agreed with Maxwell on that.

"I had actually assumed that you'd beam down with the rest of the team to help with the distribution of the vaccine. But you and - her, alone together at this remote place? That's a bonus."

Just then the in-suite communicator flashed and beeped.

"Don't answer it," Maxwell ordered.

"It might be someone looking for me," Spock said reasonably.

"Don't. Answer. It." The threatening tone told Spock this man was not to be trifled with.

"Very well. Would you kindly enlighten me as to your intention, Mr Maxwell?"

Maxwell stared at Spock as if he wanted to memorise every line of the angular Vulcan features. There was no affection in that look, only hunger. "Do you know, Commander Spock, how many times I tried to make physical contact with you so you could sense what was in my mind?"

Immediately Spock knew what was motivating Maxwell, and had in fact motivated the man to try to commit murder. He had to tread carefully now.

"I - did not realise."

"If you had," Maxwell went on unsteadily, running a sweaty hand through unkempt hair, "you would never have taken up with this - woman." He spat the last word out as though it tasted rancid.

Juno now also realised what was driving the former officer. She understood his earlier comment, and knew what she had supposedly taken that Maxwell wanted.

"I beg your pardon, Mr Maxwell." Spock spoke calmly and slowly. It was of the utmost importance that he not provoke this man into doing something rash. He or Juno could be hurt or killed. Maxwell was clearly unstable and bitter.

"It's not too late," Maxwell said earnestly. "it's just us here in this room. We can dispose of her, Spock. Nobody needs to ever know."

The blood chilled in Spock's veins at the notion of Maxwell doing away with Juno, but the man had attempted murder before so it was not surprising that his thoughts still wandered in that direction. He started the internal process to touch the man's mind remotely and manipulate him telepathically. It was not something he enjoyed doing, but it was a skill that had proven useful several times before.

_Do not interfere, taluhk. I will deal with him_

_Are you sure?_

_Yes. Please do not talk or interact with him in any way. Try not to draw his attention to yourself_

_I trust you, love_

"What would you like to do, Mr Maxwell? Since it is just you and I here."

Through a combination of mental technique and persuasive talking, Spock intended to cause Maxwell to forget about Juno's presence. He saw her drawing back against the wall. Good.

"I don't know. We could talk for a bit."

"Let us do that. Please enlighten me as to your concerns."

"I always thought you deserved a man more than a woman. Someone who could match you in every way, at every step. Someone who could be your equal."

Insulted at the notion that she was inferior to Spock, Juno felt her lover immediately negate Maxwell's words with reassurance of her professional and personal value to him and to the ship, and disapproval for Maxwell's ugly sexism.

Besides, she knew there were few men who could match Spock, and all who could were also Vulcans. Maxwell sounded highly delusional.

"I - regret that I did not realise your intentions." Spock said sincerely. If he had, they would not be in this situation. "Would that be why you tried to kill me? It was you, of course, who damaged the sonic filter. You were in the adjoining room and probably overheard me making arrangements to test the program the next day. You made your preparations once the lab was quiet."

"It seemed like the best way," Maxwell said conversationally. "If only you knew what torture it was to see you with anyone else. And by the way, I'm actually glad that you survived -" He seemed to remember there was a third person present, and started to turn in search of her.

Spock seized his wrist, forcing him to face him. 

"I would be amenable to giving you a chance to show me what you want."

"I want to kiss you."

Spock stood impassively, continuing to use his mind to reach out and override thoughts of Juno's presence in Maxwell's mind. It was a task that required supreme delicacy; he could not alert his former subordinate in any way by pushing too hard. Fortunately, for the most part the man had eyes only for Spock. 

"I, too, feel that way." It was true, but Spock had a very different reason.

Maxwell closed in, breathing audibly. Waiting for the contact, Spock ensured that his mental shields were firmly in place; he did not wish to know all that was going on in Maxwell's erratic mind. 

The deserter put a hand on Spock's bare chest, casually brushing it across a delicate jade green nipple. Using his finely tuned bio-control, the first officer allowed the button of flesh to darken in colour and stiffen as if the touch had excited him. 

"You're the most beautiful man I've ever known," Maxwell whispered hoarsely.   
Unable to stop himself, he pulled the glossy Vulcan head to his and crushed their mouths together.

Juno watched as her lover kissed the lunatic and appeared to enjoy it, but through the mind link she felt his hostility towards the one who had wanted them both dead.

Spock's hand moved seductively up Maxwell's back and came to rest at the back of his neck, then slipped to the side. He never knew what hit him.

"Having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting," Spock said dryly to the fallen body. "It is not logical, but it is often true."

He derived a distinct satisfaction from repeating those words, last uttered to his former betrothed, T'Pring of Vulcan.

"I love it when you nerve pinch people who deserve it," Juno said, resisting the temptation to elbow drop on Maxwell. "Are you all right?"

He nodded. "I am well. Are you?"

"Yes. You were magnificent."

"Thank you, _ashayam_."

"Maxwell doesn't understand how love works."

"He does not love me, _ashayam_. He desires me, but he is not motivated by love."

Before Juno could answer, the sounds of fighting and shouting were heard in the distance .

"I believe the war has come to us," Spock said gravely.


	27. Perilous times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk is on the way to assist Spock and Juno. Having just dealt with one threat, they face another one straight away.

Kirk leaped into the shuttle which he'd ordered to be prepared after trying to contact the Celestial Suite for 20 straight minutes, unsuccessfully. He, Doctor M'Benga in the absence of the CMO, and three red-shirted security officers were going down to find Spock and Juno.

Piloting the vehicle himself, Kirk obtained clearance to depart and when the shuttle bay doors had parted just enough he lifted off, not waiting for them to open fully. In the control room overlooking the bay, Scott clapped a hand to his forehead in despair. One day the captain would bash those doors right off.

"We don't know what's happening down there," Kirk said as the shuttle zoomed away. "I may have left it too late to reach them before the rebels do. Be prepared for resistance. Phasers on heavy stun, ladies and gentlemen, and don't hesitate to defend yourselves or any civilians."

The vehicle approached the planet at a shallow angle to minimise the heat generated on atmospheric entry. It completed a full orbit before it descended more rapidly and headed for the resort.

But they saw, as they approached, that the rebels were already there, and scattering towards several of the buildings. Some, waving weapons in the air, were pointing at the shuttlecraft. There were no signs of other people - Kirk hoped that they'd either fled or were hiding.

"Why doesn't this thing have a phaser?" he shouted, pounding on a side panel. "We could have taken them all out with one blast!"

He made a mental note to speak to Scott about the possibility of arming the shuttlecraft with phasers.

There was an open patch of ground in front of what looked like the main building. Kirk set the craft down and they all jumped out, turning in circles to get a sense of the layout. The place was vast and sprawling, much bigger than Kirk had expected. It was hard to decide where to begin looking.

"Scan for Vulcan readings," Kirk ordered.

"This way, Captain!" One of the security officers pointed down a shady path in the direction of a row of identical free-standing units a few hundred metres away.

The path was uneven in places, causing them to slow down cautiously. As they ran Kirk and his team looked for signs of employees or other guests. Apart from a few cheeky primate-looking animals who threw unripe fruit at them, they saw no signs of staff or guests. People were likely hiding.

"Watch out!" yelled the officer running in front. He dived to the side as a man jumped out from behind a bushy clump and fired what appeared to be an old-fashioned gun. Ducking, Kirk took him down on the run, and the team fell into position again and increased their pace.

As they rounded a corner they collided with three more armed men, and a scuffle ensued. The close quarters meant that phasers were out of the question and precious time was lost while the Starfleet team fought their way past the attackers.

Once free, they again raced in the direction of the Vulcan life signs. The leading officer called over his shoulder, "I thought I heard screaming, Captain, possibly someone injured - down towards the end of the row!"

"Hurry!"

They sped towards the last unit in the row, where the vegetation behind was rustling mysteriously.

"Spock! Juno!" Kirk called. "Spock!" 

"What should we do?"

Spock was hastily putting shoes on and making a mental note to not forget his tricorder. "I do not believe we can achieve anything by staying here, as we have no means to fight back. We could attempt to conceal ourselves in the foliage, for instance, but my view is that we will take our best chance by moving out. Preferably without alerting the attackers. Thank you. "

Juno, ready to go, had retrieved the tricorder and handed it to him. "Surely they're not Shadory military. This is too far away from the fighting."

"They must be some form of rebel faction. The military have no reason to attack a civilian establishment. A rebel group, on the other hand, certainly would, for supplies, equipment, possibly hostages. Considering how far away from the arena of war we are, it is not impossible that they are connected with the building we examined yesterday. One questions why else they would be here."

The shouting was definitely getting closer. Juno heard shots fired, and hoped that none of the civilians had been hurt. "We'd better get going. Front or back?"

"Front."

A disreputable, hard-travelled looking group emerged from the bushes at the same moment that Spock and Juno hurried through the front door.

"Not so fast, pointy," said a high-pitched yet clearly male voice belonging to a short man in front. He was aggressive-looking and accompanied by three equally shady looking compadres, who seemed to defer to him. The leader, presumably.

All of them carried a weapon of some kind.

"Get back in there."


	28. Not quite in the nick of time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cavalry arrives, but too late to prevent Spock from getting heroically injured again.

The rebels piled inside the suite, pushing Spock and Juno in front of them.

The group immediately began to sniff around, greedily helping themselves to whatever they thought looked interesting. Spock had wrapped his tricorder in his shirt, intending to put both on once they were out of the danger zone. He pushed Juno behind him again and surreptitiously handed her the bundle as he did so. She in turn stuffed it into the shoulder bag she was carrying, which also held the little vial they'd found.

"Who's he?" the short man squeaked, pointing to Maxwell, whose unconscious form still lay where it had fallen, half in and half out of the sitting room.

"An unwelcome visitor."

"What did you do to him?" Then he shook his head. "Never mind. You aren't going to get the chance to do it to us."

The leader pointed his weapon at Spock. The Vulcan noted detachedly that it appeared to be a standard projectile-type device operated by an explosive force driving said projectile out of the barrel at high velocity. In other words, it was a gun.

The weapon discharged. Juno cried out. She heard the bullet slam into Spock's chest with a wet thud and a crack as it passed through and splintered a rib. It exited his body without breaking any more bones, but the injury was grievous.

The impact propelled him backwards and into Juno. She felt a sting as the passing bullet grazed her arm. Wincing, she looked at it and noted it was a flesh wound. It wasn't important right now, not when Spock could be dying.

He hit the ground and rolled on his back. His groans of pain snapped her into action. She fell to her knees beside him. A quick examination revealed that the bullet had struck him on the left side of the chest, exactly where his heart would be if he were fully human. No doubt that was the intention. A perforated heart would kill in minutes in this remote part of the world.

The exit wound was a bloody mess. Green blood and bits of tissue, ripped out by the deformed bullet, had sprayed over the wall behind him, and over Juno too.

"And now, my pretty, we take care of you."

She stood and began to back away. A cough from the vicinity of the floor drew their eyes down. The rebel's eyes widened as he saw the impossible - Spock, who was supposed to be dying, if not dead by now, struggling to his feet. His face was so pale as to be almost translucent and the pupils of his eyes were huge with shock but he moved in front of Juno, looking ferocious. She kept her eyes averted from the ragged, bleeding hole in his back.

"If you touch her," he rasped, pressing a hand to the damaged side of his chest, "I will kill you."

The rebels looked at each other, snickering.

"You and who, big man?" sneered the leader, and he pointed the weapon at Spock's head and fired.

Juno screamed. The Vulcan dropped like a stone.

A rebel keeping watch at the door suddenly yelled, "Someone's coming in on a shuttlecraft!"

"Let's go." The leader leered at Juno. "You come with us."

He made the mistake of grabbing her arm. There was nothing that galvanised Juno more than someone who hurt her man, and Spock, noting this tendency and his own recent propensity for injury during the Gammarami assignment, had seen fit to refresh her in self-defence techniques. She whirled so fast the rebel had no time to evade the elbow that crunched into his nose, which immediately began to bleed. Screeching in agony, he fell back. Then she grabbed a decorative metal tray and slammed it down over his head.

"You and who, tiny?" she yelled.

His cohorts yanked him out the door before the gigantic, enraged Amazon could come after them. They all dashed away and melted into the dense vegetation.

Her fury spent, Juno crawled over to where Spock lay in a pool of green blood, terrified of what she would find. She turned him over carefully and sobbed with relief. He was alive. The shot to his head had deflected off his skull, leaving a gash along his scalp and a bruise the size of his hand. The wound was bleeding profusely, as scalp wounds tend to do.

"I'll never complain about hard-headed Vulcans again," Juno promised her unconscious lover.

She rushed to the bathroom and gathered up all the towels in sight. Sitting beside Spock, she folded the largest towel and pressed it to the exit wound in his back.

To help her stay focused, Juno called up the theory she'd learned during academy first aid classes for the diagnosis and treatment of a punctured lung. "Pleural cavity, pneumothorax, stop air getting in," she recited.

It was important that the lung not be flattened any more than it already was. Spock was breathing with obvious difficulty, and his pulse felt more rapid than usual.

She folded another towel and pressed it tightly to the entry wound. He stirred and groaned at the searing pain of the pressure on his smashed rib.

"I'm sorry, darling, but I have to do this."

Whoever the shuttle arrivals were, Juno hoped they were friendly and found her and Spock soon.

She bound the towels to back and front with a strip torn from the curtain, then settled him on his side with a third folded towel under his head to soak up the blood. Moving to the door, she peeked out.

"Spock! Juno!"

Incredibly, the voice was Captain Kirk's.

"Captain!"

Kirk raced to the suite, followed by a security team and Doctor M'Benga.

"Are you all right? Was that you screaming? Where's Spock?" He took her injured arm and examined the wound.

"Doctor, over here -"

"No!" Juno urged. "Spock first. He's inside."

Kirk only now noticed the green blood on her clothes. They both stepped aside to allow the doctor to rush to Spock's side.

"Report, Lieutenant."

"It was me screaming, sir, but it was also one of the rebels who were threatening us. Their - leader, I suppose you could call him, shot Spock with a projectile weapon. Twice. I crunched his nose with my elbow." The look of vicious satisfaction on her face would have been amusing under less deadly circumstances." They've all escaped into the bushes."

Hence the strange rustling as they approached, Kirk realised, incensed by the idea that the people who did this had been within reach. He put the thought aside, focusing on what he could help with right now - Spock and Juno.

"Spock was shot twice?" Kirk moved inside, stopping abruptly when he saw Maxwell, now beginning to stir. The captain actually growled, a terrifying bloodthirsty sound, and would have accosted the man had Juno not held him back.

"You've had to deal with rebels _and_ this bastard?"

"Spock had already taken him out when the rebels showed up."

"How the fuck did he find you?"

Juno repeated what Spock had said about the tracker.

"I'd have done more than just take him out," Kirk snapped, pounding his fist into his hand. "Put him in the shuttle. He goes into the brig the minute we get back."

The security team picked Maxwell up by the arms and carried him off none too gently, his feet dragging on the ground.

"Doctor?"

M'Benga stood. "He's lost quite a lot of blood, Captain, and the pneumothorax is serious. We need to get him to sickbay immediately. The wound on his scalp is mostly superficial although the bullet left a hairline fracture as it ricocheted away."

"Will he survive the flight back to the ship?" Kirk's tone left no room for doubt that if Spock's life was in any danger, he would not back down from Shadory Space Authority until they allowed him to again get the ship within beaming range.

"I believe so, sir."

The chirp of the captain's communicator sounded loud in the unnatural stillness of the resort. "Kirk to Enterprise," he said. "Please locate Doctor McCoy and beam him up immediately. We're returning with casualties."

"As soon as I have Spock stabilised, Lieutenant, I'll treat you," M'Benga promised. 


	29. In good hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Juno are safe and in sickbay. As usual, Jim blames himself for Spock getting hurt.

"Why am I not surprised?" McCoy snarled, as orderlies propelled the stretcher bearing Spock's unconscious form into sickbay. "You two go planetside and bad things happen."

He conferred quickly with M'Benga, getting a status update on the patient, then directed an assistant to set up a transfusion line with a pouch of blood from the supply donated regularly by Spock himself.

Christine Chapel took Juno aside to check her over. "Don't mind him," she said kindly, "he hates it when people get hurt. Especially people he cares about."

"I heard that," the doctor snapped. "I hope you're not implying that I care about this green-blooded idiot, Nurse."

Chapel smiled, because she knew he did.

McCoy set his assistants to cleaning the Vulcan's wounds, throwing instructions left and right. "That's it, Laxmi, make sure that scalp wound is spotless. Be careful with that swab, Burns, this is an injured man, not a pile of dirty dishes. A lighter touch, please. My God, did you two walk through a war zone or something?"

"Actually, yes," Juno said, wincing as she eased herself on to a biobed. Besides the bullet wound, the hot tea that had splashed over her feet had caused second-degree burns, which she'd forgotten about in the encounter with Maxwell, the fright of the rebel attack and her worry over Spock. Only now did she realise how much they hurt.

Chapel treated the graze on Juno's arm and the blistered, reddened skin on her feet gently and painlessly. "I think Doctor will want to keep you here tonight," she said.

*Damn right," said McCoy, carefully making an incision in Spock's chest and inserting a long slender tube into the cut. "Someone's gotta keep an eye on you two. It's all right," he said, seeing Juno's eyes widen, "this has a one-way valve to allow the air in the pleural space to escape. We need to get that lung reinflated. Once his breathing is steady we'll take him into surgery and get him sorted out."

While that was happening Doctor M'Benga made sure the unconscious first officer was breathing easily, sliding a mask over his face that supplied a slightly richer than optimal mix of air for Vulcan lungs. The bio-panel above the bed showed his blood pressure stabilising and a pulse still faint and thready, but gaining in strength.

"Vital signs are improving," M'Benga reported.

Juno didn't take her eyes off the panel until Chapel asked her to lie down. Then she listened with fierce attention to the sound of her lover's heartbeat as it slowed and steadied.

McCoy ran a scanner over Spock, checking for other injuries. Finding none apart from the head wound, but noting a highly elevated level of endorphins in the blood, he smiled to himself. He knew what that meant.

"All right," he said. "I'm going to hook this tube up to a suction machine to get the air out quickly. We should be able to operate on him in about an hour. Don't worry, Miz Juno, the prognosis is good." 

Later that evening a familiar scene played out in sickbay. In a small private ward, Juno was comfortable in a warm biobed and Spock was sleeping in the room's other bed. Captain Kirk was fretting at the foot of the Vulcan's bed, with Doctor McCoy keeping watch over everyone.

"I left it too late," Kirk said softly. "I didn't want to disturb them and because of that he's hurt. They're both hurt."

He couldn't hide the anguish in his voice. The person dearest to him, the one on whom he relied not only for command advice but for support, security and stability, was fighting for his life. And it was because of an idea he, James T. Kirk, had cooked up.

"He's fighting for his life," he said the words out loud, gnawing on a knuckle.

McCoy waved a contradictory hand. "He's not exactly in any danger of dying, Jim. That's kind of an exaggerated way of looking at it."

Kirk's mouth set in a grim line. His forehead was creased and the hazel eyes beneath were dark with worry.

"Stop blaming yourself," McCoy said. "You can't possibly hold yourself responsible for this. It was a complicated situation."

"I'm the captain, Bones. I'm supposed to be able to handle complicated situations."

"You're not a miracle worker, Jim! Well," he amended, "not always."

Kirk's shoulders lifted and fell in a resigned sigh. "Thank you, Bones." He managed a smile. "There's another miracle worker lying in that bed, and I need him to be healthy. This ship needs him."

McCoy put a comforting hand on Kirk's shoulder. "Jim, you did everything you could. Some situations are just out of your control. You gotta accept that!"

Juno nodded in agreement. "You gave us the time we needed, while working the trickiest balancing act with the medication distribution, the war and the rebels. Nobody could have done it better."

Kirk flashed her an appreciative grin.

"Your support means everything to me, Captain, and to him. And yours, Doctor. You've both been amazing."

"Stop worrying about Spock. He'll be fine," said McCoy, squeezing Kirk's shoulder. "We fixed all the broken bits and sutured all the holes. Now he needs to sleep off the anaesthetic and rest for a couple of days to give that lung a chance to recover, then he can go back on duty."

Kirk came around to Juno's side. "Did you -"

She smiled wanly, but he could see that she was no longer the frustrated, overwhelmed woman who had left the ship some days before. "Yes sir, we did."

The tense expression became one of relief and satisfaction. He didn't have to say anything. She knew he was thinking, _thank God_. And she didn't have to be telepathic to know that. 


	30. No more tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Juno are recovering.

When Spock opened his eyes it was to the dim lighting of sickbay at night and the melodious beeping and clicking of monitors, scanners, recorders and other equipment. This was not the most recent setting held in his memory. He tried to move. His body felt unnaturally sore.

"Juno?" he croaked.

"Spock!" She came to his side and tenderly smoothed his hair. "This is getting to be a habit."

"Did they hurt you?" He struggled to sit up,

Juno pushed him back down. "No, love. They didn't. Well, not in the way that you're worrying about. The captain and a security team arrived in a shuttle, in time to chase off the rebels."

She sensed his relief through the mind link, then worry as he processed her words.

"But you were injured?"

She showed him the wound on her arm, now closed and healing. Pressing his mouth to the sore spot, he pushed gratitude for her health and safety across the mind link.

"I'm fine, darling. McCoy says he'll discharge me tomorrow. You're the one we need to worry about right now."

He fell back against the pillows, groaned, and put a hand over his eyes. "I feel like I fought with a le-matya."

"You were seriously injured. They shot you twice."

A coffee-brown eye peeked between his fingers. "I remember being struck by only one bullet."

"They also shot you in the head. A shallow wound with a hairline fracture. Doctor McCoy had to haul out his portable fine-tipped bone knit regenerator from some dusty cupboard. You should have heard him complain."

"I do not remember that." He felt the side of his head, which had been cleaned and dressed. The dermal regenerator had closed the wound quickly, but he would likely have a thin scar under his glossy mop of black hair. The bruise had spread to his eye and he looked like he'd been in a brawl.

Juno held his hand, lightly rubbing her thumb over the bones of his wrist. "You were in shock, almost incoherent with pain and rage. You ignored your injuries and got to your feet to stand in front of me and protect me. The looks on their faces - they couldn't believe you were still alive."

Spock closed his eyes, trying to recall. "That, too, is not in my memory."

"It's forever in mine, my love."

She pressed his hand to her lips. "That's when the leader pointed the weapon at your head and pulled the trigger." Her voice wobbled. With an effort she suppressed it, unsure of whether Spock had the strength to shield himself. "I thought I had lost you."

Spock admired her fortitude in holding back her emotion. But he wanted Juno to be who she was, because he loved her as she was.

"If you wish to cry, _ashayam_ , that is perfectly in order."

"I cried over your unconscious body, darling, and before that I was already sick of crying. Now you're awake. I don't need to cry."

He nodded in understanding. He too had shed tears or had been close to doing so several times in the recent past, and it had been more than enough for him as well.

"Besides," she added, "I got immense relief and satisfaction from breaking the nose of that odious little rebel man. And hopefully cracking his skull with a tray." Her blue eyes glinted wickedly.

Spock raised his eyes to the ceiling in his signature gesture of disbelief. "You resorted to violence again?"

"I thought he'd killed you. I - wanted to return the favour."

There was a hint of eyebrow and a suggestion of dimple. "Favour, _ashayam_? It hardly seems like a favour if you - "

"It's a figure of speech, love." She knew he knew that one too.

"Hmm."

They snuggled together on Spock's pillow, forehead to forehead. "Is there anything I can do for you? Would you like some water?"

"I would like you to kiss me now. The human way."

"That reminds me." Juno couldn't stop a broad smile breaking out. "Maxwell is in custody and Jim has convened a court martial for when we get to our next port. I hope he gets what he deserves."

"As do I," Spock admitted.

She touched his lips gently with her own. He lifted his chin, pushing his mouth against hers and sliding his tongue suggestively along the divide between top and bottom lip. It was a while before they separated.

Juno ran her fingers down the side of his face. "You were so brave, my lovely Vulcan." My hero, she sent through the mind link.

Spock became bashful, and blushed faintly. "I am sure you were equally as brave, _taluhk_."

The door flew open. "Pardon me for interrupting this touching scene, but I'd like to check on my patients."

"Doctor McCoy," Spock said irritably. "Do you not have the ability to knock?"

"This is my sickbay. I don't have to knock." He grinned. "Don't worry, Spock, I'm not going to tell anyone that you were getting all lovey-dovey with your girl."

Chuckling, McCoy ran his scanner over the glowering Vulcan and looked pleased with the results.

"It's a good thing your internal arrangement is so different, Spock. That bullet would have taken you through the heart, if it was not where a human's liver sits."

Spock thought about a retort, but he couldn't find the energy.

McCoy examined him gently, looking concerned.

"It's not like you to pass up a chance to tell me how superior you are, Spock. Are you all right?"

"I am clearly not all right, Doctor, but be that as it may, the reason I am not engaging in dialogue with you is so that you will finish your examination and depart as quickly as possible."

"Snippy, isn't he?" McCoy muttered to Juno. He scanned her and pronounced himself happy with her recovery.

"Well, I can see I'm not wanted here. Don't keep him up too late, Miz Juno."

He departed, whistling.

"I believe the doctor is implying that we will soon be involved in intimate activities." Spock looked interested, but through the mind link Juno could feel his need for rest. 

"This time I must agree with him. You should sleep."

"I've been sleeping all afternoon, _ashayam_." He touched the back of her hand. "You, though, have yet to rest. Sleep now. We will resume intimacy back in our quarters."

Juno looked at the distance between their beds with distaste. "Can we do something about this?"

"The bio-panel will not function if the bed is moved away."

"It's not necessary to monitor me. Doctor McCoy said I'm almost ready to be discharged."

"Yes, he did. Very well. Let me -"

An unyielding glare from Juno froze him in mid-manoeuvre. "Don't you dare get out of that bed, Commander Spock. Put that blanket back where it was. I'm perfectly capable of moving a bed that was designed to be mobile."

Dimple in evidence, Spock subsided.

When McCoy came in just before the start of the next alpha shift and saw the beds pushed together with the two occupants sleeping comfortably in spoon fashion, Spock behind Juno, his hand clamped around her wrist and both of them looking peaceful, he just shook his head and withdrew from the room.

Perhaps this was something to explore, he thought. Allowing a patient's partner to stay in the sickbay with them if the situation warranted it. Spock, when injured, seemed to be better off with Juno close by, therefore he could see no reason for not at least trying it out. Although hopefully, not with the two who had put the idea into his head.

Kirk stopped by sickbay that afternoon. Juno had been discharged and had left Spock, still under McCoy's care, only to shower and change her clothes.

He was almost bursting with the news he'd just received. "Just so you know, Spock, you and Juno may have changed the course of this war. The military authorities acted on the information you supplied. They raided two known rebel strongholds and found vials in one of them. They are now allocating reserve forces to scour the region for other caches and they're hopeful of breaking the rebels' control of the conflict."

"Did they establish where the vials were coming from in the first place?"

"Not yet, but that is their other focus. They're investigating all sources of the components of the vials and are hoping to find some leads there."

"And the base that we stumbled upon?"

"Military police investigated it and arrested a group of rebels. They confiscated several boxes of vials, some weapons, and other items - just as you described."

Juno was tempted to ask if any of the rebels were short, with a broken nose.

Kirk gave his friend and first officer an affectionate smile, extending it to Juno. "You two have done this ship proud. I'm going to put in for commendations for you both."

"And Lieutenant Uhura, " Spock reminded him.

"Already done."

"Thank you, Jim, from both of us."

They shared that deep, meaningful look that was so characteristic of their own relationship.

"Rest now," the captain said, "and get better. I miss you on the bridge." 


	31. Done and dusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Shadory assignment at an end, the Enterprise is about to travel to Spock's home planet for its next task. He makes a mysterious request of Juno, and the reason is even more surprising.

Two nights later Spock and Juno were sitting on the meditation mat in their quarters. He was about to perform a mind meld. There was something he needed to know and he'd asked her permission to seek the answer in her mind.

He was healing quickly, and McCoy was happy with his progress. The doctor might be cantankerous and opinionated, Spock thought as he often did, but he was an unrivalled medical practitioner.

The small scar on his chest and the larger one on his back, as well as the one unseen under his hair, were the only physical remnants of the brush with the rebels. McCoy had offered to remove the scar tissue once the wounds were completely healed. Spock thought he might keep them for a while, because Juno found them attractive and rakish.

In terms of emotional management, Spock had learned a valuable lesson when he suppressed his pain and tried to deal with it, unsuccessfully, using only Vulcan techniques. Again he yielded to human methods and like Juno, was receiving counselling although from Doctor M'Benga, who'd interned in a Vulcan hospital. After just one session he felt more in control, and the length and depth of his meditation sessions had improved overnight.

Now, to set the mood, he had dimmed the lights and put a relaxing herb into the gargoyle fire pot to smoulder. A Gammarami song played softly on the portable speaker, the instrumental screeching a pleasant backdrop to this other most intimate of activities.

"Thank you for granting me this, my cherished one."

"I hope you find what you're looking for, love."

Spock composed his features and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He pressed his hands together, preparing mentally. Then he reached for her face.

It took only a few minutes for him to have his answer. He withdrew carefully from her mind. His face was calm. After their first meld both had been intensely affected, to the extent that they had made love immediately afterwards without even moving from their positions.

After the second one - well, that was better left in the past.

This time the effects were less intense, although no less emotional. Juno wanted to be held, and Spock obliged, pulling her into his lap and cradling her tenderly.

She pressed her hand to the place above his heart, feeling his precious life pulse against her palm. "And?"

"I did find what I was looking for."

"You're being very mysterious."

The corners of his mouth lifted a fraction. "The reason I asked you if I could do this is because our assignment here is finished and we are shortly going to get under way for Vulcan."

Juno sat up, searching his face. "Is anything wrong? Your family?"

"No, _ashayam_ , they are well. We have an assignment to assist the Vulcan Science Academy with a project and we will be stationed there for a short period."

"That's wonderful, love! You can visit your parents."

Spock suddenly and inexplicably blushed to the tips of his elegant ears. Juno watched, fascinated and charmed, as the green bloom spread over his cheeks and crept up his neck and ears. "I - would like you to accompany me."

"You want me to meet your folks?"

"I believe I said that."

Juno was astounded. Spock wanted to introduce her to his parents! What did that imply? She already felt nervous.

"Before I caused this to happen, I wanted to be absolutely certain that I am the one you want. You have recently seen me in both emotional and frightening behaviour. I was concerned that your feelings for me would be - negatively affected."

She looked him steadily in the eye. "Those moments are a part of you, Spock. Good or bad, they're now a part of who you are. I love you no less because of them."

Spock flattened Juno's hand on his thigh and traced the outline of her fingers. "I could have simply asked you, but I wanted to see your thoughts, for they would show me the truth."

"I thought you knew it, though."

He hung his head, looking abashed. "I do not know how to explain. I -"

Juno understood that this was part of the legacy of the distress and trauma that Spock had suffered, when his self-worth and confidence were badly shaken and in question. She put a finger against his mouth.

"Shh, love. I know. But it's your mind that's uncertain about my feelings for you, not mine. I love you, and I want you. I'm very certain."

Now the dimple dug its way into his cheek. "I know you are, _ashayam_. I saw it in your mind. That was what I had looked for."

"And I saw the same in yours."

Juno had eventually shared some of the saga with Uhura, who knew a little of it and had been in an agony of worry since she'd made the horrible discovery inside the sonic filter.

"I can't tell Keiko. I love her, but she's a terrible gossip. But I trust you, Nyota, and you're a little involved already."

She couldn't go into detail about Spock's part. That was for him to decide to reveal, if ever. She said only that he'd become violent, but no more. Uhura, of course, was aware of the effects of the war music and she accepted that Spock had been affected that way.

"Because it's war music the effect will differ according to whether it's used for the attacking or defending side," she explained. "In Spock's case the music would have behaved like the tunes used to incite and enrage the attacking soldiers."

They were in her cabin, having a quiet ladies' night. The communications officer had been beside herself at the thought of what had happened to her friends, and the two women had shed tears together.

"If I'd known, Juno! I could have helped, supported you -"

"You did help," said Juno, holding tightly to Uhura's hand. "You're the one who discovered what Maxwell had done. And your silent support, working with us and not making a big deal over what you saw happening... that means so much."

Uhura wiped her eyes and poured them each another glass of wine. Then she moved to a happier topic. "So he's taking you to meet his parents?"

"You should have seen how he blushed when he asked. It was adorable."

Uhura toyed with the stem of her glass, twirling it around and around. She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I have a feeling he's going to ask you to marry him, or bond in the Vulcan way. Don't you think?"

"Nyota! I don't think anything of the sort! That's so unlikely I can't even imagine it!"

"Can't you, friend?"

Juno covered her ears with her hands. "Ny, stop it. That's not fair. I don't want to hear!"

"Tell me that in a few months and we'll see who's being fair."

"Nyota!"

Damn. Now she would be thinking about little else. And worse, Spock would sense her thoughts. This was potentially an excruciatingly embarrassing situation. If he had no intention of ever marrying and he sensed that she was thinking about it, well... Men had been known to run a mile for less. Granted, Spock was far from being a typical man, but he was a man. 

She managed to keep her thoughts to herself until late that night, when they were preparing for sleep. As she drifted into slumber her mind relaxed and opened and the information she'd hidden flowed into the link.

Spock said nothing when he sensed her anxiety and the cause of it. Nor would he ever alert her to his discovery, because he had absolute control over whom he chose to share his thoughts with. Let her believe she had successfully masked hers, then she would not worry. 

But inwardly, he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning out to be the Spock and Juno Chronicles. We will see what happens next!

**Author's Note:**

> I totally appreciate any comments, feedback, and kudos. Thank you for reading!


End file.
